Written by queen mudder

Monday, 5 August 2013

image for Rolf Harris digeridoo's in a right old state
Tie Me Kangaroos's WHAT Down, Sport?

London - The 83 year-old Oz entertainer's cult status is on the rocks as Brit vice cops probe what he's been up to and stuff in the ongoing Operation YewDirtyOldManTree investigation.

Harris, 69, was rearrested this morning answering bail after detectives finally decrypted his iconic 1960s hit single 'Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport' as part of a crackdown on Australian marsupial abusers.

The song made Rolf a national superstar around about the same time he was being fingered in a paternity suit that claimed to have matched his DNA to that of an infant Jerry Hall.

The Texan former supermodel, ex-wife of Mick Jagger and mother of the couple's four children does bare [sic] some facial resemblance to craggy-chopped old Rolf but has always denied being a chip off his genome's block.

Besides, all that's been deemed irrelevant by the UK Honors Committee who gonged up Rolf Harris the showman three times - first with an MBE in 1968, then an OBE in 1977 and finally a CBE in 2006, all awards of the Order of the British Empire.

Last year as part of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations Rolf was awarded the monarch's highest personal honor, the Order of the Obsequious Lapdog, 2nd class, with matching silver poodle doggie bowl and monogrammed/crested matching poop scoop.

A kilo of fried wallaby testicles retails at around 15 Oz dollars.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: rolf harris

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