Rondo as the Celtics Version of Richard III

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

With the recent discovery of the 500-year-old bones of Richard III found under a parking lot in England, we have realized that in about 500 years some enterprising archaelogists may find Rajon Rondo's bones under a parking lot near what was once TD Boston Garden.

We suspect the DNA tests on Rondo's bones will try to determine if he was a son of York or just a sun of a bee's wax.

Richard III murdered his way to the crown, and Rondo has gone through a couple of teams trying to win the NBA Finals.

Future archaeologists no doubt will find a dozen head wounds on the skull of Rondo from being periodically clocked on the noggin by the Boston media.

Whether Rondo's last words are: "A championship for a horse! A championship for a horse," after the Celtics traded Kendrick Perkins only the pages of history will tell.

There is no way to deny that Rondo has needed a couple of horses to run his team while he limped along.

Like Richard III, Rondo has been accused of dastardly crimes like hoarding the ball and wanting endless assists to pad his stats.

Like Richard III's murders of two innocent princes, Rondo smothered Ray Allen and threw him into the Tower of Miami in a condition of undue Heat.

The notorious king of England was deformed in his spine and not too pleasing to set eyes upon. Lately, the media has bent Rondo out of shape and made the fans look upon him with disdain.

We fear that Rondo's bones may one day be misidentified as either Richard III or the Elephant Man. But that's another story.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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