Boston Celtics Succumb to the Rondo Virus

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

A plague on the Celtics' house has commenced. Even with Rajon Rondo out of the picture for the foreseeable future with a torn ACL, his reach extends from beyond the hospital morgue.

Rondo has the True Blood, and he has left the team bloodless.

Like a contagion, Rondo's lack of presence means big changes for the Celtics. They are going nowhere fast when playoffs arrive. So, there may be wholesale slaughter of the flock of lambs.

The Rondo virus could result in the decimation of the lineup. Speculation centers on the mad monk Danny Ainge, the Rasputin of the NBA, sending Jared Sullinger and Avery Bradley to another team for a loaf of bread and a jug of wine.

Trade rumors, the bread and butter of the sports media, have Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce being cast into the abyss in human sacrifice. What need of superstars when the apocalypse is on the horizon?

The Rondo Virus may be more deadly to aging NBA stars than the Swine Flu. And, there is no inoculation after playing a dozen years in the league. In fact, it could be said that long careers in the NBA are like living in a leper colony. You will catch it inevitably.

Rasputin Ainge has been chanting and performing rituals to make the bloodless Celtics return to life. He knows the fatal consequences of the Rondo Virus. It's like a neutron bomb. It kills players, and leaves the Boston TD Garden in tact with empty seats.

Rondo Virus is a silent killer of teams. You cannot see it, taste it, smell it, or detect it. You only know it is present when your team starts to tank.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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