Food Network Excited by Tyler Seguin Incident at Bruins-Devils Game

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

As the puck went flying into the net with the amazing penalty shot by Tyler Seguin, something else went flying past the net.

Johan Hedberg was in the net for the Devils, and it might have looked like a head of iceberg lettuce to him. It went skipping over the crease and toward the boards like a peewee shot.

To resident slob Bruin Tyler Seguin, this flying object may not be quite so unidentified. Sources insist that Seguin thought it was a waterbottle, but in his apartment in Europe over the past few months, the object in question may resemble something he saw on his own floor many times.

This would explain how nonplussed he was when the missile shot past. Tyler did not lose focus and hit the net, though his effort was disallowed. He had to do it again.

Game officials have seen many weird items come out of the stands, and they knew their only recourse was to disallow the first shot and make the Bruins' star do it again (which he promptly did).

As for the crumpled foodstuff, some referee had to get mustard on his fingers as he reached down to retrieve the ball of bread and meat. It looked for all-the-world like a hot dog or sausage dog in a bun or croissant.

Gourmets at the game felt it was chichi enough to be a bagel burger or a pretzel dog.

Gourmands, of which most in the area numbered, felt it was a bit of undigested beef, coughed up like projectile vomit. This apparently is not unknown at hockey games.

The Food Network may build an entire mini-series around the errant junk food. The Travel Channel feels it falls under their purview as hero sandwich. Rights to the garbage-time tale are up for grabs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more