Tom Brady Insists He Does Not Win Ugly Games

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 3 December 2012

When the ugly ducklings of the media pressed Tom Brady on his "ugly" win over the Miami Dolphins to clinch the AFC East first place again this year, Mr. Brady took umbrage.

Brady, as fans will recall, was the sixth round draft choice that turned into a beautiful swan prince once he started passing the ball in football games.

Handsome is as handsome does, and like Billy Budd, Tom Brady has never done anything ugly in his life. The closest he has come is to sign a contract with Uggs, which is halfway there only in spelling.

Tom makes Uggs seem like a misspelling. They should be called Beauts.

Tom Brady knows beauty. Look at his wife. To suggest he would participate in a football version of the Ugly American is a disservice to hard-working Republicans who are trying to prevent the nation from going over a fiscal cliff.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Tom told his press minions that his victory was a most lovely thing to behold.

After all, Tom Brady will never disagree with notable poet John Keats who said that a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Beauty always kills the Beast. Just ask King Kong. And, Brady is a handsome survivor, not a beast who lost the game. Let's face it: Kong would carry off Tom if he had the chance.

Even if Tom Brady were a loser, we would likely agree with Oscar Wilde that it is better to be beautiful than good. Tom is easy on our old eyes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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