Written by queen mudder

Monday, 24 September 2012

image for Roast badger on Nigella's menu tonight
The leftovers make excellent kebabs

London - Spatchcocked roast badger a l'Anglaise kicks off Nigella Lawson's daft cookery show tonight accompanied by char-grilled split beaver stuffing and a fiery jus.

The dish is among viewers' top requested roadkill classics as austerity bites down hard on the nation's palates.

Commenting on tonight's season premiere of the Nigelissima show quirky lardarse chef Clarissa Dickson Wright is at odds about the best way to cook and serve the black and white beasties, currently the target of a national cull.

"Back in the old daze when I was a gal deep fried badger paws were a popular bar snack," the 30-stone cook said today.

"But because they're a protected species you weren't allowed to serve them up in a curry or bolognese," Dickson Wright added.

"However badger nibbles a crispy batter coating were the top-selling pub grub item up in the North and much copied nowadays in tapas bars everywhere from Minehead to Alicante.

"Anyone else got a sneaky suspicion that Nigella's a vegan who 'ghosts' the meat-touching scenes?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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