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Funny satire stories about Badgers

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Funny story: Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim is a Forgetful Badger. Say hello, Tim. .... He forgot to say Hello. Tim went to the park with his friends. There was Geoffroy the Gerbil, Willy the Weasel, Sally the Stoat, and Friðþjófr the Frog. They played ball. Willy threw...

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Funny story: African badgers invade Britain

African badgers invade Britain

Badgers from Africa are invading Britain! A group of honey badgers have escaped from Noel Edmonds's' home zoo, and are roaming the Berkshire countryside, forcing the local badger population into hiding. The honey badger is a ferocious beast, famou...

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Funny story: Increase in beached whales around the UK - Brexit blamed

Increase in beached whales around the UK - Brexit blamed

The number of whales, dolphins and porpoises landing on British beaches has peaked significantly in the past year. Marine biologists are baffled as to the cause, as sea conditions have not changed drastically in recent months. One scientist had a...

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Funny story: Badgers Move The Goal Posts

Badgers Move The Goal Posts

The town of Bradford on Avon has a football club, which is currently struggling in the Tolpuddle League. It is known to its supporters as The Badgers. Those with an interest in the Tolpuddle League haver noticed for some time that Bradford on Avon...

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Funny story: Victoria Beckham gobsmacked as Brit badger cull pelts 'end up on NYC catwalks'

Victoria Beckham gobsmacked as Brit badger cull pelts 'end up on NYC catwalks'

New York - The former singer turned fashion designer was said to be in a state of shock this morning at news that stunning winter coats made of monochrome 'fun fur' have tested positive for contaminated badger pelts from a British cull aimed at halti...

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Funny story: MoD drone shot down in Gloucestershire badger cull

MoD drone shot down in Gloucestershire badger cull

Stroud - Animal Frights activists have taken successful pot-shots at a Ministry drone sent to cull badgers on the Gloucestershire/Somerset border amid reports of a downed craft in the Forest of Dean. The remote-controlled hunter-killer device was...

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Funny story: Vocally impaired badger favourite to win 'The Voice'

Vocally impaired badger favourite to win 'The Voice'

A badger with torettes and a severe speech impediment has been made the bookies favourite to win this year's tediously-familiar, televised singing-competition, The Voice. Roadkill, the six-year-old badger from Guernsey, blew the judges away with...

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Funny story: One Fat Lady V Badgers

One Fat Lady V Badgers

Back and to the Left news has once again shot to the top of the pile of investigative journalism when we scored a interview with one of the "Two Fat Ladies". TV chef Clarissa Dickinson spoke to most of the population's innermost desires when she said...

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Funny story: Roast badger on Nigella's menu tonight

Roast badger on Nigella's menu tonight

London - Spatchcocked roast badger a l'Anglaise kicks off Nigella Lawson's daft cookery show tonight accompanied by char-grilled split beaver stuffing and a fiery jus. The dish is among viewers' top requested roadkill classics as austerity bites...

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Funny story: Judge allows badge culls to stop protestors

Judge allows badge culls to stop protestors

Hundreds of protestors wearing 'Stop Badger Culls' badges were lined up outside the High Court yesterday and stripped of their badges. A judge upheld a Government proposal for two pilot culls to tackle outbreaks of NTBC (No To Badger Culls) in Lon...

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Funny story: Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

Cameron to fight Sarkozy after the French arm British badgers

A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and has been sparked by revelations that the French...

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Funny story: Heston Blooming-Tal Makes A Meal Of It

Heston Blooming-Tal Makes A Meal Of It

This year, 2012, is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year. We asked famous bonkers celebrity chef Heston Blooming-Tal to come up with a recipe to celebrate her Queening anniversary, just like whoever it was who came up with Coronation Chicken in 1952. First Heston considered swan, but the legal department made it clear that there would be complications. Then he thought about lion, and again had to b...

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Funny story: Falling badger population blamed on modern music

Falling badger population blamed on modern music

The British Badger Population (BBP) has been in steady decline since the 1980s, shortly after its heyday. "At first we thought it might have been the introduction of the car-alarm in 1981," said naturist and badgerologist, David Bellamy. "The cons...

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Funny story: Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

Badger Cull Blamed on Panda

A Dorking vet called Barry Badger was arrested yesterday following the suspicious death of Mrs Gertie Grimbottom, 67, of Dorking. Mrs Grimbottom was taken to the vet by her grandson Herbert, 11, who asked to have her put down. Badger initially ref...

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Funny story: Badgers to be encouraged to hold Tupperware parties

Badgers to be encouraged to hold Tupperware parties

The Treasury has announced plans to recruit countryside animals in a bid to reduce the record UK deficit. Badgers will be encouraged to host Tupperware parties by inviting moles, shrews, weasels and other woodland creatures to their setts for even...

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Funny story: Alistair Darling Is Multicoloured Freak Shock!

Alistair Darling Is Multicoloured Freak Shock!

Shock photographs have emerged of MP Alistair Darling relaxing at home. The photo's, leaked to us by Bert Tweedle, one of Darling's aides, or 'Darling's darling's' as they have become known, appear to show Darling lounging on a sofa, whilst drink...

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Funny story: Megan Fox Topless In Woods - Badger Panics

Megan Fox Topless In Woods - Badger Panics

The sight of one of the sexiest women in the world wandering topless in the woods today sent a badger into a frenzied panic. It happened as Fox was filming scenes for her upcoming horror movie, The Vampire Josey Wales. Fox, whose breasts have been...

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