BRUSSEL SPROUT, Belgium – (World Satire) - Belgium's national news agency, Sproutalooza, has reported that a badger herder, Leuven Mons, became very upset after returning home from the store with a brand new 2021 calendar. Leuven’s wife, Amalasand…
Tim is a Forgetful Badger. Say hello, Tim. .... He forgot to say Hello. Tim went to the park with his friends. There was Geoffroy the Gerbil, Willy the Weasel, Sally the Stoat, and Friðþjófr the Frog. They played ball. Willy threw...
Badgers from Africa are invading Britain! A group of honey badgers have escaped from Noel Edmonds's' home zoo, and are roaming the Berkshire countryside, forcing the local badger population into hiding. The honey badger is a ferocious beast, famou...
The number of whales, dolphins and porpoises landing on British beaches has peaked significantly in the past year. Marine biologists are baffled as to the cause, as sea conditions have not changed drastically in recent months. One scientist had a...
The town of Bradford on Avon has a football club, which is currently struggling in the Tolpuddle League. It is known to its supporters as The Badgers. Those with an interest in the Tolpuddle League haver noticed for some time that Bradford on Avon...
New York - The former singer turned fashion designer was said to be in a state of shock this morning at news that stunning winter coats made of monochrome 'fun fur' have tested positive for contaminated badger pelts from a British cull aimed at halti...
Stroud - Animal Frights activists have taken successful pot-shots at a Ministry drone sent to cull badgers on the Gloucestershire/Somerset border amid reports of a downed craft in the Forest of Dean. The remote-controlled hunter-killer device was...
A badger with torettes and a severe speech impediment has been made the bookies favourite to win this year's tediously-familiar, televised singing-competition, The Voice. Roadkill, the six-year-old badger from Guernsey, blew the judges away with...
Back and to the Left news has once again shot to the top of the pile of investigative journalism when we scored a interview with one of the "Two Fat Ladies". TV chef Clarissa Dickinson spoke to most of the population's innermost desires when she said...
London - Spatchcocked roast badger a l'Anglaise kicks off Nigella Lawson's daft cookery show tonight accompanied by char-grilled split beaver stuffing and a fiery jus. The dish is among viewers' top requested roadkill classics as austerity bites...
Hundreds of protestors wearing 'Stop Badger Culls' badges were lined up outside the High Court yesterday and stripped of their badges. A judge upheld a Government proposal for two pilot culls to tackle outbreaks of NTBC (No To Badger Culls) in Lon...
A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and has been sparked by revelations that the French...
This year, 2012, is the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year. We asked famous bonkers celebrity chef Heston Blooming-Tal to come up with a recipe to celebrate her Queening anniversary, just like whoever it was who came up with Coronation Chicken in 1952. First Heston considered swan, but the legal department made it clear that there would be complications. Then he thought about lion, and again had to b...
The British Badger Population (BBP) has been in steady decline since the 1980s, shortly after its heyday. "At first we thought it might have been the introduction of the car-alarm in 1981," said naturist and badgerologist, David Bellamy. "The cons...
A Dorking vet called Barry Badger was arrested yesterday following the suspicious death of Mrs Gertie Grimbottom, 67, of Dorking. Mrs Grimbottom was taken to the vet by her grandson Herbert, 11, who asked to have her put down. Badger initially ref...
The Treasury has announced plans to recruit countryside animals in a bid to reduce the record UK deficit. Badgers will be encouraged to host Tupperware parties by inviting moles, shrews, weasels and other woodland creatures to their setts for even...
Shock photographs have emerged of MP Alistair Darling relaxing at home. The photo's, leaked to us by Bert Tweedle, one of Darling's aides, or 'Darling's darling's' as they have become known, appear to show Darling lounging on a sofa, whilst drink...
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