Katie Holmes Tells Tom Cruise She Wants Half of The $600 Million or Else She's Singing Like A Canary

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 4 July 2012


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image for Katie Holmes Tells Tom Cruise She Wants Half of The $600 Million or Else She's Singing Like A Canary
Katie wants half of Tom Cruise's $600 million no ifs, ands, or buts. (Photo courtesy of Kobe Bryant).

NEW YORK CITY - Kathie Holmes has been keeping pretty much of a low profile in regards to her filing for divorce from her husband of five years Tom Cruise.

But reports are surfacing out of the Big Apple, where Katie is living with daughter Suri, that Katie has started to take out her claws and she is getting ready to play hardball against her soon-to-be-ex-husband Tom Cruise.

According to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Holmes has already secured the legal services of the noted California law firm of Gorgonzola, Gomez, & Granolawitz.

The 3G Law Firm, which is based in Avocado Heights is regarded as one of the best divorce law firms on the Left Coast.

Two years ago they represented fellow attorney Olegario Gorgonzola in his divorce from Princess Mafeesha of Saudi Arabia.

After the second day of the trial, Princess Mafeesha's attorneys agreed to settle out of court and Mr. Gorgonzola was awarded half of Princess Mafeesha's $2.4 billion wealth which came out to $1.2 billion dollars.

Katie has said that she wants $300 million and if Tommy does not give it to her then she is planning of divulging some personal, intimate facts regarding Tom and such well known celebrities as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Betty White, Kat Von D, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, RuPaul, Bristol Palin, two members of the Los Angeles Lakers, and Chaz Bono.

In Political News. Willow Palin has said that in four years she would like to run for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. She stated that she is currently taking some sarcasm lessons from her mom, Sarah "The Loose Moose" Palin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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