Demi Moore Getting Back At Ashton Kutcher With a Brand New "Younger" Man In Her Life

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - All of the talk about Demi Moore being devastated at filing for divorce from her "Boy Toy" husband Ashton Kutcher have all vanished like the dreaded South African vuvuzelas.

Demi Moore, the 49-year-old cougar, who was heartbroken when husband Ashton got involved with Sara Leal and started vavavooming all up and down the Pacific coast has said she has stopped shedding tears for her hubby with the infamous heat-seeking dip stick.

Moore spoke candidly with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk and said that she knew that their May-December marriage was on the rocks last year when Kutcher got involved with Brittney Jones that young, blonde, bowling alley husband stealer.

And then when he was seen exchanging saliva with another young, blonde ho in the parking lot at The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon in Avocado Heights she knew it was pretty much all over but the whining, the weeping, and the whimpering.

But when she saw photos of Ashton and that young, 20-year-old, blonde Norwegian exchange student who was photographed in Venice Beach reading her geography book in the nude while sitting on Ashton's lap she knew that the marital wine grapes were ready to be crushed all to hell.

Of course the countless mattress frolicking episodes with Sara Leal, the piƱata heiress from Guadalajara, Mexico was the official last straw.

Confirmed reports state that just a mere two hours after Demi signed the divorce papers she told Miss Chipotle that she had hooked up with a much younger, long time friend Scott Vincent Borba.

Borba, who at 38, is eleven years younger than Demi is the founder, president, and CEO of Borba Beauty Skin Products, which specializes in beauty skin health care for the older mature cougarish woman.

Moore first met Borba several years ago when she and Heidi Montag had attended one of his two-hour skin care seminars in Cucamonga.

She was so smitten by the entrepreneur's amazing products that she purchased several of his skin care items including Wrinkles Away Lotion, Cellulite Be Gone Cream, Liver Spot Removal Salve, Ovaries Ointment, and Bikini Taco Rejuvenating Lubricant.

Close friends of the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Ashton Kutcher report that they have not seen Demi as happy as she is now since last year when she got her playpen (crotch cookie) vajazzled.

In a non-related story. Walmart is recalling 8,000 Herman Cain Bobblehead Dolls due to the fact that in the entire nation-wide Walmart chain only 3 dolls have been sold and 2 were returned for a full refund.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more