The Dancing With The Stars Audience Is Turning On Judge Len Goodman And He May Get Fired

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 27 September 2011


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image for The Dancing With The Stars Audience Is Turning On Judge Len Goodman And He May Get Fired
The lucky purple hat that Dancing With The Stars celebrity Carson Kressley keeps in his dressing room.

HOLLYWOOD - British Judge Len Goodman has been with Dancing With The Stars for all 13 seasons, but it appears that the old Englishman may just have worn out his welcome.

Achtung Zumwalt of TV ClickerWorld spoke with the producer of DWTS Bernandette Penderlicki and she confided to Zumwalt that she is getting fed up with the thousands of emails, phone calls, letters, and text messages that she is receiving from fans of the show asking her to fire Mr. Goodman.

Zumwalt said that even one of the shows two co-hosts who did not want his name revealed said that he has gotten tired of listening to Len's constant bitter, angry, insults which he hurls at very talented individuals who he seems to forget are not professional dancers.

Zumwalt noted that backstage after last week's show in which Metta World Peace, the Los Angeles Laker formerly known as Ron Artest had been eliminated that the basketball player grabbed Goodman with the intent of using him as a floor mop.

But luckily for the elderly Len, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and his brother Val along with soccer player Hope Solo jumped in and pulled Artest off of Goodman who was squealing like a crazed banshee.

Penderlicki has admitted that this year, Goodman, who is known as "The Grouchy Grouch" has badmouthed more of the contestants than ever before.

Zumwalt spoke with Goodman who told soccer star Hope Solo that she has no business being out on the dance floor because there is really nothing feminine about her body outside of three things.

Goodman said that model Elisabetta Canalis, ex-girlfriend of George Clooney, dances so stiff that she reminds him of Herman Munster.

He then remarked that Nancy Grace is much too top heavy and that her boobs are gigantic and not at all proportioned for her 5-foot-2-inch height. He said that in order for them to look normal she would have to be about 6-foot-6-inches tall.

Goodman then turned his wrath on Carson Kressley whom he called the gay super white honky version of Bruno Tonioli. Goodman said that Kressley has more swish and sway in his movement that the entire New York Radio City Rockettes.

Zumwalt asked Bruno Tonioli if he feels that Goodman needs to go. Tonioli, who is known as "The Gaytalian" replied that he thinks that it would be a good idea for many reasons, one of which is that Len smells up the place with his tubes of Ben Gay and Preparation H.

Carrie Ann Inaba AKA "Miss Philippines" expressed the same concern as Bruno but added that the viewing audience does not realize it but at least four times during last weeks live show she had to nudge Len awake after he had dosed off.

Bruno giggled and said that one time last year, during one of Kirstie Alley's dance numbers that Len fell asleep, and actually fell over landing on his lap.

Tonioli said that luckily it was dark and no one noticed and the shows host Tom Bergeron quickly ran over to the judges table and he and Carrie Ann were able to physically pick up Len and put him back in his chair.

SIDENOTE: Woody The Wonder Woodchuck has reportedly picked Nancy Grace, Carson Kressley, and Chaz Bono to be in this weeks bottom three. When Woody was asked to pick which celebrity he thinks will be eliminated next, he chose Nancy Grace. So far this year Woody The Wonder Woodchuck is 0-1.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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