Southwest's "Breached Hull In Aircraft Discount Program" Put On Hold

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Saturday, 2 April 2011


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Southwest Airlines --the air travelers's absolute last resort-- whose Scratch-and-Dent / Breached Hull Aircraft Discount Program drew tens of new customers to the company, has been told to discontinue the program after a flight made an emergency landing with what passengers described as a 3-foot crack in the fuselage of their Boeing 737.

"I can't believe that we had to fly on a Southwest flight with a gigantic f--king hole in it, just to save a couple bucks," said one passenger. "I can't have assigned seating or a first-class cabin, but I'd like to have a plane without a breached hull."

Southwest said in a statement that the flight crew "discovered a hole in the top of the aircraft."

"In order to keep our prices low, there are certain cutbacks we had to make," said the Southwest Airlines statement. "It is tightening-of-the-belt strategies like removing toilets, using regular gasoline instead of jet fuel, and discontinuing safety checks that allow our deadbeat customers to pay $59.00 to fly from LAX to Las Vegas."

"Even with a broken hull, the 737 has an outstanding safety record," said Julie O'Donnell. "Just not with our airline."

The FAA will continue its investigation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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