Google No Longer Full of Schmidt

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Google No Longer Full of Schmidt
Schmidt flies. Google turns a Page.

Eric Schmidt has announced that he will step aside as CEO of Google in order to hand the reigns back to original founder and brainchild of the search engine, Larry Page.

Though originally a partnership between creators and visionaries Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Google burst onto the technology scene with highly unanticipated growth. Looking for experience to help guide the company through those fast growth times, Schmidt was hired to lead Google to the technology powerhouse they are today.

"Larry and Sergey were looking for somebody like Schmidt, but never dreamed they could get Schmidt", says Google Assistant VP of Marketing, Ms. Charmin Cottonelle. "Once Schmidt received a healthy and firm deal, Schmidt was all over the place".

Others at Google confirm that Schmidt left his mark in the halls and walls of the now booming technology company, involving himself in nearly every facet of research, design, and operations. "Schmidt's ideas were always firm and well formed", says Google Chrome engineer, Manny Sapyle. "He always had the perfect timing for dumping a big product into the marketplace, but Schmidt also knew his limitations. You could say that Schmidt really knew his Schmidt".

"We don't really intend to clean up Schmidt's influence here", says Cottonelle. "In fact it's as if his essence permeates the brick, mortar and walls here at Google, and Schmidt definitely left his mark on Larry Page too".

Page spent the last several years learning his Schmidt from Schmidt and is reportedly ready to leave his own mark on the company. The market has yet to react to the Schmidt news, but insiders remain hopeful that despite his absence, the employees will remain full of Schmidt's influence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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