New rip-off comparison website for must-haves

Written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for New rip-off comparison website for must-haves
The new "don't_compare_just_pay.web" website

Those who queued in the rain to be first to buy their i-Pad, i-Phone4, PS3 or other want (rather than need) or whose favourite words are the nonsensical "pre-order", will be thrilled to hear that a new comparison website has gone on-line aimed at insuring consumers are ripped-off in fabulous traditional UK style by paying over the odds for their unnecessary aspirations.

don't_compare_just_pay.web is a specialist website aimed at helping numpties part with as much money as possible. With its newly-patented and futuristic "rippov" search engine, it aims to turn being ripped-off into a complete, computerised 21st Century art.

And what's more, the minute you have purchased your not-needed expensive item, don't_compare_just_pay.web tells you the expected released date and price of its replacement - for example, the user buying an i-Phone4, as soon as they press the "pay now" button and funds are released from the user's bank account, the release date of the i-Phone 5 will be sent and a further sum off £400, the "pre-order deposit" will be taken immediately from the user's bank account.

don't_compare_just_pay.web is not just for useless, expensive gadgets. A unique feature of the site is the ability to search furniture stores with their 364-day a year sales and identify the one day in the year when their incredibly crappy sofas are sold at full, recommended retail price. This will enable those who like to be ripped off to purchase items for their home at vastly inflated prices.

And don't_compare_just_pay.web also serves the motorist, helping to identify the most expensive petrol in a given area, or the most likely mechanic to scratch his hear and mutter "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, dear dear" indicating that the £10 wheel balancing the AA recommended you should have transforms into two unnecessary new wheel bearings and a set of suspension springs at £400.

However, users are warned not to use don't_compare_just_pay.web to find the most expensive motorway stop-over, as even the supersonic speed of this new piece of computer software can't cope with that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more