Meat Company to Pay Internet Gurus Millions in Marketing Royalties

Written by Dax L'Amour

Friday, 10 December 2010

image for Meat Company to Pay Internet Gurus Millions in Marketing Royalties

Lisle, Il, USA - Today Mike White, CEO of USMeat, LLC, the 150-year old meat packing company, made the announcement that the corporation will be paying millions in royalties to specific Internet Gurus after the December accounting is complete.

"Yeah, they've made SPAM, the name one of our long-time products, a household name. Everywhere you go, people are talking about it", said Brown.

"Sales have gone through the roof these past two years", says Brown. "We've done nothing different--all these sales have to be attributed to the marketing expertise of these internet gurus"

"We did a test market during the last quarter of this year of our newest product, SCAM, which we predict will further accelerate our sales, since "SCAM" is the new up-and-coming search word on
Google with millions of global searches each week. With that kind of dynamics, we just can't go wrong with either product" Brown adds.

Beane Kownter, the CFO of USMeat, told our reporter today: "Number-crunching shows that the gurus with their marketing techniques have cut our company's marketing costs by 33%. It's only fair to reward them some of those savings---maybe that will help motivate them to keep up the good work".

As for their new product, SCAM, USMeat product development spokesperson Miett Cutts told our reporter that the production team is currently re-fitting the processing layouts on the factory floor to accommodate the predicted rise in product demands.

"We anticipate the increase in SPAM and SCAM searches to help product branding and lead consumers to 'talk more about our products in their daily lives and communications' ", says Cutts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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