Rock Star, Entrepreneur not "Taco Hucksters", Say Lawsuits

Funny story written by Jerry Cornelium

Tuesday, 18 January 2005

image for Rock Star, Entrepreneur not "Taco Hucksters", Say Lawsuits
Being sued for "the whole enchilada"

CANTON, OH --- Joe Lewinsky has led a modest life selling used books from his garage in suburban Canton. But it was not until a few days ago that he discovered his good name had been used by big business to hawk tacos. Going for "the whole enchilada", Lewinsky has now joined Jerry Garcia Estate LLC's lawsuit against Moe's southwest grill.

The Atlanta based restaurant conglomerate which "hucksters" Mexican food to hip young professionals in trendy settings features a fajita titled "Alfredo Garcia" and a taco called "The Other Lewinsky" on its menus. The lawsuit further alleges that the restaurant chain maliciously altered the lyrics to the Grateful Dead song "Casey Jones" - a bouncy pop tune about a train driver so "high on cocaine" that he isn't watching his speed - turning it into a fajita-selling jingle.

Attorneys for the deceased Grateful Dead singer's estate say that Garcia's heirs, who sell $81 Jerry t-shirts and $44 Garcia coffee mugs, are incensed at Moe's misuse of Garcia's ideas and philosophies for simple greed.

Lewinsky stated his name has also been misappropriated by big business.

"I'm a victim," he explained. "Just like Jerry Garcia and his ideas. His name as an international artist has been discredited. I mean, saying that Jerry is about eating fajitas is demeaning. And me, I don't even like tacos."

Lewinsky said he is well aware of the reference to former President Clinton's debacle. However, he pointed out that the taco's name is the other Lewinsky.

"That means all other Lewinskys," he said angrily. "And if these money grubbers think us Lewinskys are that easy, they've got another thing coming. You mess with one Lewinsky, you mess with all of us."

While Jerry Garcia Estate LLC is suing for unspecified damages, Lewinsky says he knows what he wants.

"I want five hundred dollars, and my name on an enchilada," he said. "And I'm willing to take it all the way to Judge Judy. I know my rights."

Hearing about Lewinsky's demand, Graham Hearst, spokesperson for Moe's southwest grill, said there are no enchiladas on Moe's menu - then sighed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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