New cable TV service has 4,863 channels

Funny story written by C. Cranium

Friday, 2 April 2010

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Now watch cable in four hundred and six languages.

CashCom, the satellite cable provider, announced today a new service that features every channel in the free world -- four thousand eight hundred and sixty three channels.

Broadcasts are run 25/7 -- the extra hour makes up for lost time in locals that have daylight savings on the half hour like Nova Scotia.

Four hundred and six languages are represented and English has the largest share at just over 50% of the subscriber base, and Sanskrit has the smallest following with just one academic.

Two channels are dedicated to re-runs of pledge drives from public TV, and two bonus channels: All Dukes of Hazard re-runs, and a continuous slide show of test patterns from all channels.

It takes about one hour to toggle through every channel and there still is nothing worth watching.

CashCom, still the greedy company, has an introductory pricing for new subscribers of $48.63 per month for the first six months and after that whatever the market will bare.

CashCom is donating the service to Veteran's Hospitals for tax purposes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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