World's Largest Tequila Maker Signs Tila Tequila To Be Its Spokesperson

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 11 January 2010

image for World's Largest Tequila Maker Signs Tila Tequila To Be Its Spokesperson
Tila getting her third tattoo of a tequila bottle.

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - El Sombrero Grande Tequila Company, which is the largest producer of tequila in the world, has just announced that they have hired noted U.S. Tweeterer Tila Tequila to be its new company spokesperson.

The 29-year old native of Singapore reportedly will be paid a yearly salary of $40,000 plus all of the tequila she can drink.

El Sombrero Grande founder and CEO Sancho Topolobampo was asked if the amount being paid to Miss Tequila along with the all she can drink clause isn't somewhat unusual.

Topolobampo replied "Well, dis type of deal ease really berry usual. Four jeers ago we sign Manny Ramirez, dee Dodgers superstar and we pay him $30,000 plus we throwed in bullfighting lessons from El Sarcastico one of dee greatest matadors to ever put on tight-fitting bullfighter pants, bullfighter pantyhose, and bullfighter house choose, so to answer jor question, a-no (no)."

Tila will fly down to Cabo San Lucas where she will film her first commercial for El Sombrero Grande. The commercial will be directed by Gabriel Charcolargo the man responsible for all of Mexico's Taco Bell, Burrito Bell, and Ding Dong Bell commercials as well as for the award-winning Don't Ju Be An Illegal Alien public service announcements.

In other news. Hulk Hogan who is extremely desperate for money ever since his divorce left him virtually penniless has agreed to come out of retirement and wrestle Oprah Winfrey. The match which will be shown on Pay-Per-View is being billed as The Hulk vs. The Bulk.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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