If you find a bottle, rub it, and discover that a Genie (Djinn) has magically appeared before you in a cloud of smoke, you can no longer expect to receive the customary three wishes. Edna Talmud, spokesman for Genie's Local 182, has announced that Genies are reducing their number of granted wishes from three to two. This is blamed on the ecomony and on the unoriginality and repetitive nature of wishes.
"Everyone wants some variation of money, wealth, or power with the first wish. The second wish is generally for some kind of sex appeal or beautiful men/women (depending on the gender and sexual orientation of the wisher). Since having money, wealth, or power generally gets you the sex you want, this wish is always a waste of time."
"For the third wish, people often repair health problems or actually think of the needs of others. Since this cannot always be solved with money, it doesn't follow that it could also be accompished with the first wish."
Wishers should also beware of using one of the wishes to request extra wishes as "this voids whatever they have previously wished for and automatically makes them poor, ugly, jobless, and stupid" (in other words, automatic beneficiaries of the Obama welfare system and members of the Democratic Party).
