Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for Zimbabwe To Trade In Buttons

Zimbabwe, the funny little African country where inflation triples every five minutes, has abandoned its currency, and will, from tomorrow - or maybe even tonight - trade in buttons.

President of Zimbabwe, the Dr Robert Mugabe, announced the change this evening at a session of the Harare Kangaroo Court, where a man was being tried for thinking about running away to England, an allegation the gentleman concerned strenuously denied.

As recently as December, the Zimbabwe National Bank introduced a Z$100 trillion note, but this now buys only three slices of mouldy bread, and the government (Dr Mugabe) is keen to stem the flow of inflation as best he can.


Zimbabweans were quick to react to the news. In the capital, seven people were gunned down and the buttons stolen from their jackets, and in another incident, a button factory in Harare was looted by dozens of people armed with wheelbarrows.


A curfew is now in place, and a state of emergency exists.


Financial analysts say that, if buttons don't manage to 'hold the economy together', the next step could see the introduction of zips by April.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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