Managers of the Royal Mail have told their footwalking postmen that from now on they must "hurry up".
They are hoping to sack - which is quite an ironic term to use, coming as it did from pen pushers who left the real world several years ago - any postmen from working who don't sprint to complete their post rounds.
The Royal Mail director, Frank Edstamp, said, inbetween counting his large Christmas pay bonus and ordering goods online from John Lewis, that the days of postmen casually carrying their heavy sacks of mail with parcels from ebay that need a time-consuming knock on the door and a signature are over.
He went on to say that all postmen must maintain a speed of at least a 9mph sprint from door to door. Or preferably a run, hurdling over bushes and fences between houses. Van drivers are warned that they must drive even quicker, and Formula 1 Champion Lewis Hamilton has been drafted in to help.
