Frozen french fry founder dead

Funny story written by Walt

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Frozen french fry founder dead
Sliced, iced & fried by the billions

"Mr. Spud," J.R. Simplot, age 99, died on May 25, 2008, at his home in Boise, Idaho, USA. Mr. Simplot is credited with developing & wholesaling the frozen potatoes used by fast food restaurants throughout the world to produce thin, ready-to-cook "french fries." In 1967 Simplot made a handshake deal to supply the prepared spuds for all of the fast-food outlets owned by Ray Kroc, founder of the McDonald's chain.

It has been estimated that Mr. Simplot, & his immediate family, have a net worth of about USD $3 billion. Another estimate is that his potato products may have added just about 3 billion pounds of fat to the hips, buttocks & bellies of some 100 million Americans who eat the deep fried fast-food.

It has been reported that Mr. Simplot enjoyed driving to fast-food joints in Boise & ordering the standard fare. One can only imagine the pride of being able to view the results of your life's work waddling, wiggling & jiggling from car to fast-food counter. Unfortunately, more often than not now, those addicted to french-fries รก la Simplot don't even get out of the car. It's much more fattening to drive up, order at the talkie-box, sit on a super-sized ass & order super-sized fries to satisfy a super-sized hunger for the crunchy spuds.

It seems odd, in a way, that a cultural icon of such tremendous magnitude is almost unknown by the obese American public that owes their collective avoirdupois to the lowly potato & the man who invented ways to deliver its carbohydrate magnificence from farm dirt to fast-food deep fryer. Requiescat in pace John Randolph Simplot. He changed the United States forever, practically unknown, from an anonymous corporate boardroom--truly the American way.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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