Government Buy Ailing Bank

Funny story written by Shaun Ferguson

Monday, 19 November 2007

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UK Chancellor Alistair Darling has announced the nationalisation of failing bank Northern Rock.

In an exclusive interview with The he has revealed that his Government is taking control of the company.

Darling justified the move by saying Government loans has already exceeded the value of the bank and that predators, including Sir Crosse and Blackwell's Branston Pickle Group, were hoping to pick it up for a song leaving stockholders with less than a penny in the pound and the Government still on the hook for over £30 billion.

In justification of this rare move Darling disclosed that his son had been pestering him for a cowboy outfit for Christmas and that the Northern Rock would do nicely.

Asked why he had not arranged for the other major banks to launch a lifeboat for Northern Rock, he said that his Government's calls for windfall taxes from them over the past few years had somehow alienated them.

In response to a question about Government failure to bail out investors in Christmas club Farepack which went bust last year, the Chancellor said that their measly few quid "weren't worth a toss".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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