Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 17 June 2007

image for Qatari royal family tossers stitched up over UK investments
Qatari tossers are located in the tiny gas-rich emirate localted northwest up the Arabian Gulf

Doha ha ha ha, Qatar - (Ass Mess): Some of the biggest tossers in the Arabian Gulf after the McTomb Raider family of Dubai are to be found in the royal (sic) family of the tiny gas-rich emirate of Qatar.

And this week they have been stitched up in the UK into buying a controlling 25% stake in cheap and nasty British supermarket group Sainsburys - motto "Try Something Different Today, Try Asda!"

Now they are being reported in the UK business press as contemplating a full takeover offer for supermarket after falling for that old counter-intelligence superlative that has said that Lord Sainsbury and family actually owned the food retailer whose stock they surreptitiously sold off piecemeal during the last three decades.

The Qatari investment vehicle, Delta Two, has already backed Essex wide boys the Candy brothers to the tune of £5 billion in speculative London property investments which like the Sainsbury's stock are part of a massive police sting into corralling Gordon Brown and his fellow social Thatcherists straight into a lifetime incarceration at the HMP Belmarsh slammer.

The sting was sprung in the late 1990s when George W Bush's gargantuan political ambitions became the source of NATO military intelligence concern after a number of Saudi oil scams related to Prince Bandar were found to be bankrolling organised crime cartels in the US and UK.

The Qatari ruling family was partially involved after losing a string of lawsuits about ownership rights to huge liquid natural gas reserves in waters beyond the emirate's territorial remits.

Stung into shamefaced revenge, they were soon easy enough to corral into the same huge sting that Prince bandar has also succumbed to after insisting on a getting a private airplance as part of his £1.2 billion BAE Al-Yammamah slush deal.

"This is one hell of a result for us," the UK head of the Serious and Organised Fraud Sqaud said today.

"We've stitched up these dodgy sheikhs for almost a decade now and will take them all to the cleaners just as soon as Tony Blair's in the slammer over that cash-for-peerages scam.

"This latest lot are so daft they even think we've sold them the legit of a huge army barracks in Chelsea whose freehold - as everybody else seems to know - belongs to HM the Monarch.

"This is going to one good week for us when these Qatari tossers get caught after mortgaging their palaces to the hilt to invest in stolen UK goods.

"Serves them bloody right!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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