Rolling Stones dump financial guru Prince

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 26 May 2007

image for Rolling Stones dump financial guru Prince
Once they were humble street buskers

London - (Ass Mess): The Rolling Stones have finally dumped Prince Frederick Von Assfelt their financial manager of the last 37 years.

Von Assfelt, 69, is the husband of octogenarian movie star Zsa Zsa Gabor and was famously in the news recently after claiming to have fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn.

A press released for the Stones today said they felt confident of being able to do their own moneylaundering investments after learning the tricks of the trade from their financial guru.

Von Assfelt was picked after famously giving Mich Jagger a watert-tight alibi in the Brian Jones murder inquiry when the band member was found floating in a fatal swimming pool incident back in 1969.

A succession of bent cops and tainted witness testimonies held the whopper together and helped Von Assfelt to set up two private financial trusts to transfer song assets tax-free to Carribean offshore tax havens.

The Sunday Times Fantasy Rich List credits Von Assfelt with Mick Jagger's fabled £500 million fortune.

This will now be managed by Kevin Maxwell, son of Cherie Blair's ex-KGB spook father Robert Maxwell and the UK's biggest bankrupt at £400 million in the red.

Von Assfelt is set to retire to the Bahamas, scene of his recent dalliance with paternity lawsuits.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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