Ronco Sees Stock Prices Soar With Latest Invention

Funny story written by kegoguinness

Monday, 7 May 2007

image for Ronco Sees Stock Prices Soar With Latest Invention

Omaha, Nebraska - Infomercial culinary giant Ronco today saw a twenty-seven percent gain in stock price after news of their latest offering, the "Fry-fi", wireless cooker and mobile phone, reached investors.

"This is a huge advance in time-saving electronics" remarked seventy-two year old Ronco CEO Ron Popeil from his Craftmatic Adjustable Bed, where he has lately been giving interviews due to failing health from clogged arteries. Popeil's latest invention takes advantage of huge breakthroughs in communications and fryer technologies.

"No longer will people have to stand in line at T.G.I Friday's, Bennigans, Chotchqis or Applebee's happy hours, waiting for reams of fried potato skins, fried mozzarella sticks and of course, fried onion rings. They can fry away the day while keeping in touch with clients or friends."

Popeil says he thought of the idea for the Fry-fi while undergoing his third bypass surgery. "We'll have the fewest dropped calls of any mobile carrier, too." The Fry-fi will reportedly come in regular or extra crispy models.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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