Donald Trump Announces New Casino Complex

Written by Unkle Phebus

Friday, 9 March 2007

Freehold, NJ--Donald Trump today filed development and environmental impact study plans for a new casino he is proposing to build on 22.8 acres of Rosie O' Donnell's butt.

Trump announced the plans while speaking to Don Imus on his morning TV show. Imus questioned Trump about the location and how he planned to overcome the odor that was sure to be present. Imus said, "you know at Mohegan Sun they used to have problems like this, and it cost them a boatload of money until they discovered the source."

Trump responded that the area in question was so vast that he had little doubt that odor would be a negative factor. He stated that "'you could wander for days in that area and not feel crowded. One thing you may find interesting Don, is that we plan to name the penthouse area of the hotel, 'The View'. I also plan to offer discounts to individuals who wish to enjoy their honeymoons there after their civil union marriages. I want you and all of your listeners to understand that this is going to be a big time operation. I'm sure that I'll be the butt of many jokes, but I don't care, I'm moving on this one."

Trump hopes that construction can start as early as July with completion by early 2009. Trump stated that he sees this area as continuing to expand and become a prime destination for those seeking unique entertainment. "In 10 years, this area could be bigger than Vegas, Don. I'm telling you if NJ decides to finally go through with the Parkway extension and airport plan, the sky's the limit here."

Ms. O'Donnell could not be reached for comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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