Thousands of polar bears flooded the Atlanta airport this week, rushing to the Coca Cola offices to try out to be the new advertising mascot. The position is vacant due to the scandal of the old bear, Cookie, having an out of wedlock child with the married bear from the recent Gentle Ben remakes.
In a press conference, Coke spokesman Clyde Churchill said, "We are an old fashioned company with old time values. We don't take to our corporate symbols ruining the sacred institution of marriage. Besides, you just don't mess around that way with black folks in the south. Whites and darkies just ain't supposed to mix like that. Are they wanting to have zebra stripped cubs or something?"
"We used to have laws against that down here, but Cookie wouldn't listen and had to see if those size rumors about American Black Bears are true. She says she's happy and fulfilled, but now she's out of a job."
