Top Executive Quits Million Dollar Job to Open Up Neighborhood Lemonade Stand

Funny story written by Joanie Chevalier

Sunday, 9 August 2015

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With the help of his six-year old daughter, Neil Q. Pattison, CEO of OpenSecurity, the latest up and coming software company out of Silicon Valley, quit his high-paying job and opened up a neighborhood lemonade stand.

"Now my daughter Leila is the CEO of the family."

After refusing to give us any details of his exit interview, Neil says this: "I was sick of commuting three hours each way to work and tired of trying to spend all of that money. The yearly trips to Europe and the Bahama cruises were getting boring. Now Leila and I can spend quality time together making this lemonade stand work (aptly named Lemonade Stand) and we'll have fun saving up our money so that we can get to our annual trip to Disneyland this spring."

Neil's wife, busy in the kitchen making snickerdoodles agrees with her husband's logic. "I totally agree. I found myself staring at all of my Louis Vuitton handbags in my walk-in closet and I said to myself: "Is this all there is: which fashion icon should I follow next?" She explained her part of Lemonade Stand. "I am to make the cookies to go along with the lemonade. Two cookies with a dixie cup of lemonade all for $1.25. Such a deal!"

When asked what they'll do in the winter, Neil responded, "We're ready to go warmer - hot chocolate with three cookies!"

Neil's wife just giggled when asked about the future and what will happen when Leila goes to school next year. "Her baby brother will take over when she's not available and well, we'll just have to keep making CEO's won't we?" she said, winking at her husband.

Neil was prepared for the next question and the reporter was impressed with his blueprint of success type of thinking. "Chocolate chips are expensive. So to answer your question, we think snickerdoodles will have to do until Lemonade Stand begins to make a profit. Then, and only then, will we purchase a bag of chocolate chips and offer chocolate chip cookies to our customers."

Lemonade Stand is located on the corner of Smith & Varney. No credit cards accepted. Refills are not allowed. Two cookies per customer - no exceptions! Open Monday through Saturday, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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