Walmart Admits Food Drive Was Simply Misplaced Compassion

Funny story written by Smart Blonde Bimbo

Monday, 23 December 2013

Walmart issued a rare apology today for the tasteless advertisement that claimed its workers were so needy that they could use donations from its customers in the United States.

The Bentonville, Arkansas based company which advertises better living through low prices was finally confronted with the idea that the better living through low prices did not offset the low wages that come out of offering low prices.

An anonymous source also was quoted, saying that the Walton family is not hurting for money because not only did it stiff its workers, it profited off the dead, by keeping workers who left the company on a group policy and reaping the tax free benefits--until then President Bush closed a tax policy loophole in 2006.

So, lower prices, but unfortunately higher premiums in insurance because of all that money flowing into Bentonville. Capitalism is at its best, and even my bleached brain cells could comprehend that when somebody gets something for nothing, somebody else often loses something for nothing.

Oh, well. Time for another Cosmo. I got to keep them coming so I can lubricate the keyboard...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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