Trump Has Scientist Waterboarded Until He Says That Global Warming Isn't Real
Science Town, U.S.A. Just as Trump was ready to announce a press conference stating that he had proof that global warming wasn't true, the BBC released a beguiling story. "It seems that Trump kidnapped three of the world's top climatologists and t...
Read full storyHollyweird's Hottest: Chelsea Handler
Aging comedienne Chelsea ("Man") Handler was born to the lovely Rita, meter maid, and Seymour, a used car salesman, while they were living in sin in Livingston, New Joisey. As a child, Handler says she felt like an "impostor." All her high school friends drove a Porsche or a Lamborghini, but she "went to school in a BMW." Her father was a Jew, her mother a Mormon, so, naturally, Handler was rai...
Read full storyUS state of Ohio drop driving age to 8!
After long consideration and acknowledgement that kids aint kids like they used to be, the US state of Ohio have decided to drop the age of driving to 8! The first boy to take advantage of the new law was an 8 year-old who after feeling pangs of h...
Read full storyTrump's Plans for North Korea Revealed in Shocking Press Release
Earlier this week, president Donald Trump, in a press release, stated his full plans for North Korea: "mega bigly annihilation." The president at about 8:00 AM stated that the North Koreans "need to be stopped," and clearly stated his strong opini...
Read full storyUnited Airlines CEO vows "never again"
THUG CITY, IL ---- Following what he described as a "thorough review" of his flight crew's use of police to drag Kentucky medical doctor David Tao off an "overbooked" flight to prevent him from tending to his patients the next morning (and to replace...
Read full storyBig Bang Theory Will Kill Off Entire Cast and Start Over in Season Ten
Hollywood, CA In a shocking TV show announcement, CBS's #1 comedy, The Big Bang Theory will have its whole cast die at the end of Season 9, and Season 10 will introduce a whole new group of nerds. "The last show will have Sheldon assuring the whol...
Read full storyOfficials Speculate on Trump's Refusal to Throw Out the First Pitch of Baseball Season
Washington, DC Many Presidents of the United States felt that throwing out the first ball of the baseball season was one of the highlights of being President. But this was not the case with President Trump, as he refused to throw out the first pit...
Read full storySatan Shows Up on Wall Street on the Floor of the New York Stock Exchange
New York, NY The Times Financial Editor wrote that he had been observing on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, when he was surprised the see the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself, on the floor making a number of trades. Although most of th...
Read full storyTrump Family Takes Over London
The Trump Family, who arrived from the United States yesterday, have already begun to infuriate the British people. "First it was when that "First Daughter" (who now wants to be called the "Daughter Royal") Ivanka, called the local cuisine "crap" and insisted that all her food be imported from Parisian restaurants across the border in France while she was in Britain. Then when Trump thought Gu...
Read full storyBritain is Invaded By the Trump Family
London, England American President Donald Trump made an official visit to England with his whole family in tow. President Trump made a number of requests, including that he would need a castle for Melania and Barron, another for Don Jr., Tiffany,...
Read full storyNorth Korea and China Team Up to Hoodwink Trump
Beijing, China Sources have revealed that, minutes after President Trump had finished pledging $4 billion dollars to help China fight North Korea and flew off in his jet, China's premier called Kim Jong-Un, dictator of North Korea. (Translated fro...
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