Tweaking The Geneva Convention
In a bid to avoid jail time, the Bush people are asking Congress to approve a clarification to the forty year old Geneva Convention by suggesting it is acceptable to use: the rack, frying pan, grater, and water; while interrogating prisoners of war o...
Read full storyMargaret's Order of the Bath
Buckingham Palace, London - (Associated Mess): Official commemorative portraits have been unveiled of the late Princess Margaret depicting her 1962 investiture into the Most Ancient and Noble Royal Order of the Bath.
Read full storyISS Buzz Ruined?
Outta Sight! - The Space Station crew scrambled to find the source of an odd (though not unfamiliar, apparently) odor that, according to most, was "WAY like Mary Jane." NASA spokesperson Jamerson Johns then scrambled to quash rumors.
Read full storyBlair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?
London - (Associated Mess): It rhymes with 'banker'. That is the official verdict of political anal-lists all over the world as the controversy mounts in the UK press regarding the mysterious 'W' that has appeared on the Prime Monste...
Read full storyFrederico The Fruit Wrangler
Once upon a time there was a boy named Frederico. A gangling, nervous dude who could barely tell you his name, without st-st-stuttering and stammering. Most nights while the other children played and ran, he sat in his room and conquered the world in a video game. Frederico was a lonely boy. At school he had no friends because he had no skills, other boys had musical talent or kung fu, some...
Read full storyUS Congress Is Solution to World Energy Crisis
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Enron, the world's largest natural gas company, today announced during a public ceremony tapping the Capitol Dome that it has solved the world energy crisis. "Our latest tests show that the Capitol produces more natural...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Sets Example for Commitment-phobic Guys
With his good looks, talent, and charming ways, Brad Pitt has long been a favorite of the ladies. His recent statement, "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," h...
Read full storyLego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs
Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...
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