Oprah to Market Jump-Friendly Furniture Line
Following a sensational media appearance by Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey developed an idea when she began spontaneously jumping for joy on her couch; after this she noticed that her couch just didn't bounce back the way it should have.
Read full storySkilling Has 90 Days to Decide: Prison or Heart Attack
Houston -- The latest Enron crook to get a tough sentence (24 + years) is likely sobbing right now into his Vielle Bon Secours. There are no deserts like just deserts.
Read full storyVeils row: Archbishop backs wearing of religious tin foil hats
Lambeth Palacce, London - (Associated Mess): In a landmark ecclesiastical ruling the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams has sided with the right of peddlers of any superstitious supernatural humbug to display the emblems and trophies of thei...
Read full storyMajor League Umpires Told, "Keep It Clean!"
Tiger Stadium, Detroit, Michigan - Major League Baseball Chief of Umpires, Blind Mississippi White Boy Pigsfeet Dupree has told the empiric crews working the World Series, "Keep it clean."...
Read full storyQueen blames 'pain in the ass' for cancellation of official engagements
Buckingham Palace, London - (Associated Mess): The Lord Chamberlain, Lord Luce-Cannon has told UK press that HM the Queen has cancelled all current engagements 'due to a pain in the lower lumbar region'...a.k.a. 'Prince' Charles.
Read full storyIran Becomes Jewish State
TEHRAN (Reuters), International concerns about Iran's uranium enrichment program suddenly eased on Friday when Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared that his country is now a Jewish state.
Read full storyGod Withholds Support from George Bush
Evangelical Christians, who had been jubilant over GOP victories, in recent years, and had proclaimed that it was God's will that George Bush be annointed president, have recently been looking inward, and pondering the meaning of the Lord unleash...
Read full storyTom Cruise Announces Merger With Katie Holmes
The Little Wedding Chapel On The Corner, Las Vegas, Nevada and Scientology Headquarters, Scientology, California---Latest reports are that Tom Cruise has proposed a marriage merger with Katie "The Cutie" Holmes, mother of his latest scienti...
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