President Orders Troops for 'Operation Autumn Storm'
CRAWFORD, TX-President George W. Bush has taken unusual protective measures in anticipation of the arrival of Hurricane Rita to the south Texas shores. Being military Commander-in-Chief, the President has ordered approximately 1,500 troops returning...
Read full storyTyra Banks Launches Titillating Breast Reality Show
APP -- Victoria's Secret Model Tyra Banks today launched a new, and provocative reality show in which supermodels, models, and just plain women will have their breasts examined and checked for implants. Guest "examiners" on the show w...
Read full storyPerfect Day
It was the same day that I’d been woken at about 3am by a bat flying around my bedroom. I’d been dreaming about searching for the actor, Tom Selleck whom I eventually found living in a caravan in a remote field. I was somewhere in the no-man’s land between sleep and wakefulness, when I became aware of something, a presence, in the room.
Read full storyCondoleezza Rice Kidnapped by Noddites outside the White House
ZYX News corporation reports a brutal attempt by Noddites to kidnap Condoleezza Rice outside the White House has been thwarted by US Special Services in the last few seconds before they could have escaped in their turbo-charged red and yellow escape...
Read full storyBush Administration Releases 10-Minute Bible
WASHINGTON (AP)--Would-be Christians on the go who are used to reading executive summaries of important documents can now scan a radically chopped-down Bible that can be read in under 15 minutes. The Bible is newly released by a publishing firm recen...
Read full storyCorpus Christi, Texas Prepares for Hurricane Rita
Corpus Christi, Texas continued preparations today for the impending arrival of Hurricane Rita. The city on the Texas coast appears to be the target of the third major storm to hit the United States. Gregory Portland, Assistant to the Mayor, issued...
Read full storyGeorge W. Wins Alfred E. Neuman "Look-A-Like" Contest
"Over the years, we have joked that George looks just like, Alfred. It really ticked him off, but we entered his picture in a Alfred E. Neuman contest and he won first place," brother Jeb said.
Read full story"Ask Me No Questions, I'll Tell You No Lies"
(AP) President George W. Bush selected the slogan today that will define his presidency. Said Bush, "Some of our greatest leaders and their administration have been defined by a single phrase or slogan. Some of my favorites are "The New D...
Read full storyNY Times to Lay off All Reporters
NYC -- The New York Times announced today it is laying off 4% of its workforce -- all its reporters. Long considered America's "Newspaper of Record" the publisher announced the Times would henceforth rely on unnamed government sources, opinion and e...
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