George W. Bush Targets Chicken Feet
WASHINGTON - President George W. Bush told reporters at a hastily called press conference this morning that health officials have launched a nationwide search for boneless chicken feet-an Asian delicacy that was smuggled into the United States recent...
Read full storyUnited Nations to Reintroduce Snakes to Ireland
DUBLIN, Ireland - After 1,600 snake-deprived years, Ireland is preparing for a reunion with its long-lost slithering friends. This spring, some 20,000 adders, asps and vipers will be resettled in the emerald-green fields across the small island nati...
Read full storyChildhood heroes
Sebastian Coe was one of my childhood heroes. The middle distance runner, who, along with the two Steve's Ovett and Cram, formed a mighty triumvirate that dominated middle distance running throughout the 1980s, and lo, into the 90s. Sebastian Coe, it is said, trained so hard that his heart grew to twice the size of most mortals. This massive heart was only one of the weapons in his arsenal...
Read full storyMartha Stewart Will Stay in West Virginia!
ALDERSON, WV (AP) Martha Stewart, serving 5 months in Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia for lying to federal agents, says that she will not return to Connecticut upon her release this March. Speaking now with a noticeable twang in her vo...
Read full storyClay Aiken and William Hung to Record a Duet Together
In a move that's rocked the music industry to its core, Clay Aiken and William Hung have joined pop culture forces to perform a duet together. It's been dubbed, She Bangs...Her Head Against the Wall Because That Would Be Less Painful Listening to Thi...
Read full storyMoore to weave his magic on next Harry Potter book
Sizzling in the acclaim for Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore has accepted the invitation to direct the sixth Harry Potter film.
Read full storyMartha Stewart Changed Radically in Prison
KATONAH, N.Y. - The trim, dreadlocked Martha Stewart who arrived home from prison this morning is radically diferent from the soft, frumpy-looking woman she was when she began her five-month sentence last October. Stewart told reporters as she left p...
Read full storyLondon Taxi Drivers' Brains Grow from Doing Their Jobs
LONDON, England -- A study in London has presented some very surprising results about the size of the rear of a London taxi driver's brain.
Read full storyTelephone "Time" lady passes away
Betty-Lou Lipbaum, better known as the "time lady" who possessed what many have called the "best known voice in the world", passed away this morning at the age of 81.
Read full story"People Against Gangsta Rap" Program Is Success
Today marks the five year anniversary since the P.A.G.R. (People Against Gangsta Rap) went to congress with a petition to outlaw gangsta rap music.
Read full story50 Cent Awarded Purple Heart
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- At a packed press conference in 50 Cent's hometown, President Bush made an appearance to honor 50 for his remarkable accomplishments and achievements to the hood and the gangsta way of life. Many of 50's friends were on...
Read full storyBush asks Negroponte to assume the position
Washington. (Spoof International News). March 3rd. President Bush traveled to the offices of the CIA today after an aborted attempt on Wednesday. The purpose of the trip was to reassure the new CIA director Porter M. Goss and his minions t...
Read full storyIRS "One Plus One Equals Two" Rule Stuns Tax Accountants
The tax accounting profession has been thrown into turmoil by an IRS announcement that it will start enforcing an obscure accounting rule. The so-called "one plus one equals two" rule is considered archaic and unworkable by many accounting professio...
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