Suspected Terrorists Freed
Home Secretary Charles Clarke has announced that suspected foreign terrorists will no longer be detained in prison but instead are to be put under house arrest and watched as closely as Michael Jackson in a nursery.
Read full storyMoments After Delivery of 3rd Child, J.K. Rowling Already Besieged by Reporters
ASP (Associated Spoof Press) --- No sooner was Harry Potter author and fresh-baked mother of three, J.K. Rowling, wheeled from the delivery room to the maternity ward than she was harangued by a throng of mostly male reporters. Rowling gave birth a h...
Read full storyDriving Tips by Jermaine Pennant
Arsenal's troublesome youngster Jermaine Pennant has revealed that he is to release a book to try and get rid of the bad reputation he has got. He is said to feel that if he gives something back to the community then they in return might give him...
Read full storyNicollette Sheridan Says Owens Ready for Super Bowl
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Although Terrell Owens' doctor said Owens' injured right ankle isn't strong enough to withstand the rigors of Super Bowl play, actress Nicollette Sheridan says otherwise. Sheridan, star of ABC's "Desperate Housewives," told Sport...
Read full storySenate Votes to Double Social Security Benefits, Bush Will Sign
WASHINGTON (AP) Remaining in session until 3AM this morning, the U.S. Senate finally voted to double the average Social Security benefit all US retirees will receive starting in mid-2005. The late vote followed vicious partisan debate and fistfights.
Read full storyGod Threatens Indonesia with Another Tsunami
Speaking at a roast for Johnny Carson yesterday, the Lord God Almighty charged Indonesia with inflating the death count from December's tsunami "just to make me look bad." He then threatened "to give those heathens something to whine about if they're...
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