Moonbeam Family Christmas
Berkeley, California --Happy Holidays everyone! I had the family over for Christmas: my brother Jerry, his wife Pam, their three kids, and Aunt Vera and Uncle Carl. Also, my ninety-year-old grandmother Edna brought her new boyfriend, Harlan, who I guess to be somewhere between ninety and five hundred years old. Of course, Edna brought Penny, her fat, gassy, and blind seventeen-year-old b...
Read full storyNY Mayor calls Policeman's strike Illegal
It's Field Day For Felons as the city of 8 million finds itself protected by 1 lone security guard named Zeke who says "he ain't strike'n". Zeke Tatum, "the lobby guy" at the Stop n Shop is indeed the city's last...
Read full storyMy Dream of Leeching Off a Celebrity Wife Is Crumbling
You know, I’ve never really given much thought to the future because I’ve always just planned on marrying a movie star and leeching off her my entire life. It’s always seemed like a good deal to me--she gets her power, independence, fame, etc, and I get to sleep in and watch the Spice Channel. Most men view women’s equality as threatening, but I disagree because I’ve never looked forward to...
Read full storyDali's Secretary Dead
CADAQUES - John Peter Moore, Salvador Dali's former personal secretary, has died at age 86 after being trapped in a Dali painting for forty-five years, the Cadaques coroner's office reported. The coroner's office confirmed Mr. Moore's identity after...
Read full storyI Learned To Fly Without An Instructor
Erie Medical Center -- I want to tell everyone how I taught myself to fly an airplane without an instructor. A friend of mine has a pilot's license, and he took me for a one hour ride. Boy, that was fun! So after watching him all of that time, I th...
Read full storyBar Mitzvah Held At McDonalds's
NEW YORK - In a stunning break with tradition, the parents of Jason Pelsky held his Bar Mitzvah at the Times Square McDonald's this past Saturday.
Read full storyBabysitter & Toddlers Have Party. Busted By Police
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. - A 37 year-old man was arrested when two toddlers he was supposed to be babysitting, were found drunk.
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