Children are exposed to drugs every day from classroom inhalers, commercials for medications, and dad's old bong hidden in the downstairs closet. The average age that a child first experiments with marijuana is fourteen. Kids even as young as fiv...
'Spicy Meatballs' is a term used by Italian Chefs who put Meth Amphetamine in their food. DEA officials believe. "We believe we have found an Italian Chef who might be cooking meatballs and meth," said a DEA official. The accused Italian stat...
Spokespersons and law representatives for Toronto Mayor Mr. Rob Ford have come forth to clarify yesterday's incident downtown at Eaton's Department Store. Mr. Ford had been contracted to appear as Santa in the toy department but dressed in a femal...
Washington: Senator Paddy O'Hare of Massachusetts was yesterday bundled out of a debate in the Senate on additional funding to be made to contain rogue states such as Syria from using chemical weapons. Uproar broke out when O'Hare was invited by the...
Insiders have come across leaked information from AMC, the producer of the recently ended and very popular "Breaking Bad" series. A spinoff series will follow Brad White, nephew of the protagonist/antagonist in the original series. In the new...
The Pope's plane is reported to have been shot down over Kabul as it prepared to land. There were no survivors of the missile attack. Ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair was a guest on board after receiving his Papal Knighthood just the day befo...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas. Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his han...
EL PASO - Actress Betty White was detained for a couple of hours by the United States customs agents in the port city of El Paso, Texas after crossing over from Juarez, Mexico. A representative with the U.S. Immigration Department stated that the...
My cooperative and mutualistic love/hate relationship with drugs. According to the scholarly and reliable search engine Google, Co•op•er•a•tive Pronounced: /k??äp(?)r?tiv/ ? (Again, who the fuck speaks Russian these days anyway?) Defined as: Involving mutual assistance in working toward a common goal Mu•tu•al•ism Pronounced: /?myo?oCHo?o??liz?m/ ?(Alright Russia, have a rant) 1.
Hardingbone Bodditripp III, along with his best friend Jack Swolunshaft recall their heyday in the rave and electronic music scenes of the late nineties. "I don't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was great," stated Bodditripp, 36. Swo...
Rumors are a buzz since the recent finale of the popular television series Breaking Bad. There has been recent developments in Hollywood as reports have circulated regarding a possible spinoff. A major exective for the show, Ivan Crankie, confirm...
BREAKING BAD aired its final episode over the weekend, leaving many fans, desperate, alone, and distraught. Outreach programs are being set up throughout the nation to ease woes. "We see this as a time to really put our best foot forward and he...
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...
DENVER - Law enforcement agencies throughout the state of Colorado are expressing some concern over the new Marijuana laws. Detective Draco K. Applebush, 47, with the Denver Police Department, who is assigned to the department's narcotics division...
NEW YORK CITY - The Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal is really getting out of hand and it has now reached a new level or rather depth. Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has tested positive for performance enha...
EL PASO - United States Custom Agents have just arrested a New Jersey man who was wearing scuba gear and swam the Rio Grande from Juarez, Mexico to El Paso, Texas. The scuba diver identified as Hamilton F. Bumtinbone, 27, of Hackensack, New Jersey...
NEW YORK CITY - The decision has finally come down and a total of 13 Major League Baseball players have been suspended for using PED's (Performance Enhancing Drugs). New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, 38, received the stiffest penalty.
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