Cambridge - They famously cleared up Princess Margaret's anal warts following delivery complications from giving birth to eldest offspring Visc**nt Linley. Now the larval descendants from the blue blooded bluebottle colony are being sent to Papwor...
Norfolk - The discovery of a partially boned, defurred and lightly marinated rat inside the Christmas dessert has stunned the Queen. The anonymouse-ly executed prank is the latest of HM's Yuletide mishaps which started last night when Phil the Gre...
HRH Prince Phillip, husband of HM the Queen, has barricaded himself into Papworth hospital and is refusing to leave and return to festivities at Sandringham. Despite visits form all four royal; children he remains steadfast in his desire to escape a...
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and established racist, was recently admitted to hospital with complaints of chest-pains. Though at first it appears as a standard symptom for someone his age the Queen has revealed information that implies they may...
Norfolk - The Duke of Edinburgh is about to snuff it and has been taken to the local crem in an austerity move bypassing the usual tedious formalities - like intensive care. A spokesperson for the Happy Chappy Royal Toasting Company said tonight P...
Athens - Hellenic Hellfire Club grandees are demanding the public immolation of Prince Philip in an appeasement of the gods sacrifice that some reckon he's had coming for years. "The Old Spanish Inquisition had the right idea," Greek Minister for...
The Queen and Prince Philip have ended their royal visit to Australia and are on their way back to England so that they won't miss out on this years Halloween celebrations on Monday evening (31 October) in the woods near Windsor Castle. Originall...
Well known for sticking his size 12 boot where it doesn't belong, Prince Philip has enjoyed a long and illustrious history of inappropriate public statements and generally bad attitude. At the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM) this week he's proved he's not losing his low brain cell and emotional intelligence touch: To Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard about her inability t...
Windsor - "Damned well nearly pulled it orf," a sozzled Prince Philip confided to Castle guests last night amid growing suspicions of a botched Saudi 'inside job' to top the ambassador to the United States. "Blaming dodgy Iranians for the Mexican...
Balmoral, Scotland - "Heheheh, gonna thrash The Darkies!" the old curmudgeon was heard muttering as the Palace's Aintgottaprayer.con sporting account accepted the wager last night. A tip-off about England star batsman Alistair Cook breaking Test r...
First it was Mila Kunis, then Justin Timberlake, each accepting a Marine's invitation to the Marine Corps Ball to be held in November in Greenville, North Carolina. Now it's been revealed that there's at least one other famous invitee who has acc...
Prince Philip is obviously upset at the demise of his beloved News of the World newspaper. He confessed, this morning, to Prince Charles that he is indeed going to miss reading the paper. He reminisced with Charles about the 'good old days' of Th...
[AP, Chipping Sodbury] It was revealed today that a Chinese investment consortium is attempting to buy the British Royal Family. Wun Hung Lo, acquisitions representative for the Happy Lucky Investment Company number 4 based in Long Dong province of n...
London - The spectral face of 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi has appeared in a photo portrait of the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh. The picture, commissioned by the National Portrait Gallery, shows the royals seated on one of Windsor Castle's hideousl...
London - Eurozone gravytrain committee astrologers have laughed off Prince Philip's demands for an immediate 12bn euro ($17bn/£10bn) austerity handout. A Brussels statement issued today said he should join his wife Queen Elizabeth in a voluntary b...
Prince Philip has agreed to undergo plastic surgery at the request of his grandchildren. They have agreed to foot the bill in the interest of small children and fragile old ladies in wheelchairs. Apparently, his grandchildren believe that a few p...
President Barrack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama are due to arrive in London on Tuesday for a state visit that is to last three days. They are to stay as guests of Her Majesty the Queen at Buckingham Palace. Prince Philip, however, will be unava...
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