The dismal economy is finally hitting Hollywood. Now that the Dow Jones Industrial Average has fallen lower than Governor Blagojevich's popularity quotient, famous-but-older doyennes of Tinseltown are forced to forego their monthly injections of Bot...
Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson spoke at a press conference on Thursday, acknowledging that efforts to stimulate the nation's moribund economy have so far been "a failure", and that the economy remains cold and unresponsive. "I've been on top o...
Los Angeles, California - Barack Obama's performance in the polls with the American people has bee phenomenal. Never before in the history of presidential-elect polling has a future commander and chief done so well before actually taking the oath of...
Police reports regarding so-called "necktie bandits" have been flooding emergency phone centers as the rise of assaults on businessmen have been increasing around cities' financial districts. Assailants are grabbing the neckties of passersby and f...
President-elect Barack Obama announced today that his economic team will begin work on a new plan to jump start the nation's troubled economy. Based on the theories of turn of the century Italian immigrant and financier Charles Ponzi, the centerpiece...
The Greater Manchester Fire Service has announced that it has to find savings of thirty percent over the coming financial year. Unions are adamant that no fire service personnel will be lost, with the service already running at the safe minimum numbe...
In a bizarre twist last night, the latest revelations that the banks were duped by a multi-billionaire American fraudster have themselves been revealed as a fraudulent scam. Global financial institutions claim to have lost billions on a pyramid inve...
The latest retailer to report tough trading times is London department store Harrods as they see profits slump as a result of increased legal costs, slow sales and poor window cleaning. This flag ship retailer in the trendy area of Knightsbridge,...
Off-the-Wall-St, NY - (OMFG! Mess): Disgraced hedge fun fraudster Bernard Madoff has blamed an erratic space/time warp continuum surrounding his business orifices at the Pig in Lipstick Building in Midtown Manhattan's Turd Avenue for the missing $50...
Tel Aviv - (Sorry Ass Mess): The Israeli secret intelligence service is hopping mad after Off-the-Wall-St trader Bernard Madoff lost 95% of the Mossad's pension fund in his $50 billion hedge fund collapse. "How come we didn't see this one coming?"...
Top world financial groups on Monday revealed massive potential losses from an alleged scam run by Wall Street trader Bernard Madoff, admitting they were fooled by a classic pyramid investment fraud. British, French, Japanese and Spanish banks an...
London, England - Scientists at York University have discovered what appears to be the oldest human brain in Britain. The brain was discovered in a five year old child during routine examinations at her nursery school in Northern England. Scie...
A tribe unknown until five years ago living in Brazil's Rain Forest say they have not been affected in the least by the world's economy taking a nose dive. "Mubutu lost some stock but found them a week later over the hill where Anja lives. He clai...
Risking the perils of breaking their customary Trappist code of silence and avoiding publicity like the plague, the senile multi-zillionaire Barclay twins, Doris and Noris, are rumoured to be closing down all business investments on the tiny Channel...
(Chicago-Illinois) In the shadow of current Illinois Governor (and soon to be sharing living space with a 300 pound White Aryan Nation member named Pile Driver) Blagojevich's FBI investigation, the Obama Economic Team is alleged to have proposed a pl...
The Steingrabber Twins and appropriately named GM cashman have shattered the salary records again by offering pitching ace, CC Sabathia 161 million dollars. The blockbuster price tag set off the usual chorus of Yankee haters and their perennial p...
In a continued effort to stimulate the economy, the Chancer of the Exchequer has revealed that interest rates will more than likely become negative in the New Year. Speaking at the Annual Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club AGM, held in a Nissan hut a...
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