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Spoof stories written by John Andreini

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Funny story: Laura's Lament: "I can't stop smiling."

Laura's Lament: "I can't stop smiling."

In an emotional interview with CBS news anchor Katie Couric, Laura Bush revealed that she is undergoing treatment for a rare medical disorder called fachus sardonicus (commonly known as Eternal Smile), which is distantly related to risus sardonicus (...

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Funny story: Sock Monkey Terrorizes Minnesota Family

Sock Monkey Terrorizes Minnesota Family

When Charles Duskins of Rush Rapids, Minnesota brought home an adorable sock monkey as a gift for his five-year old daughter Mary, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

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Funny story: Imus new ambassador to Botswana

Imus new ambassador to Botswana

Washington, D.C. - The White House announced today that controversial radio talk show host Don Imus will serve as interim ambassador to the Republic of Botswana, replacing former ambassador Katherine Canavan, who has been missing since December 2002.

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Funny story: Bush Administration to Revise the Constitution

Bush Administration to Revise the Constitution

In a bold move that has incensed Democrats, the Bush Administration announced today that it was going to "edit" the United States Constitution to bring it up-to-date.

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Funny story: 16 reasons why I would NOT want to have a beer with George Bush

16 reasons why I would NOT want to have a beer with George Bush

We'd have to listen to Country & Western music...

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Funny story: McCain Initiates Pander Patrol

McCain Initiates Pander Patrol

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - John McCain's campaign announced this morning that the presidential hopeful will park the Straight Talk Express bus and begin a special month-long campaign blitz to be called The Pander Patrol.

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Funny story: Rove Testimony Comes with Conditions

Rove Testimony Comes with Conditions

WASHINGTON D.C. - Amid the swirl of controversy surrounding the firing of eight U.S. attorneys allegedly for political reasons, what the president did or did not know remains under scrutiny. One of the president's chief advisors, Karl Rove, has b...

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Funny story: Bush Safe After Brush With Reality

Bush Safe After Brush With Reality

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush was shaken but unharmed in a brush with reality this afternoon near the White House. Quick acting secret service agents were able to shield the President from the fast moving burst of truth and avert any injury.

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Funny story: Madman to Murder Mammals on the Mall

Madman to Murder Mammals on the Mall

Washington D.C. - On July 22, the "Motor City Madman" Ted Nugent will lead a contingent of Republican Senators and Congressmen and Vice President Dick Cheney on a bow hunting foray on the Washington Mall. Sponsored by the Bow Hunters of Nor...

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Funny story: Bush Claims Infallibility

Bush Claims Infallibility

WASHINGTON D.C. - Speaking to a group of evangelical Christian ministers in the Oval Office, President Bush said today he had been given the cloak of infallibility by God. He claimed he was measured and fitted for the cloak months ago, but was only r...

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Funny story: Bush to Minions: Save My Legacy

Bush to Minions: Save My Legacy

Washington, D.C. - With the Iraq war going badly and Afghanistan slipping back into Taliban control, President Bush has given notice that his legacy must be rescued by winning a war. Senior administration officials announced today that the President...

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Funny story: Satangate heats up the Capital

Satangate heats up the Capital

WASHINGTON D.C. - Recently leaked visitor records from Vice President Cheney's office reveal a startling number of visits by Satan over the past six years. According to the records, the Vice President saw Satan more than 23 times since 2000.

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Funny story: What Republicans Say and What They Mean

What Republicans Say and What They Mean

A handy field guide for voters...

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Funny story: Ever Wonder Where O'Reilly Went to College?

Ever Wonder Where O'Reilly Went to College?

Dear Mr. Andreini, Thank you for your interest in the Media Pundit program at the deWhite School of Broadcasting. We take great pride in be...

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Funny story: PISS Fest 2007

PISS Fest 2007

I was alerted to this full-page ad for a summer festival in the latest issue of Guns & Ammo.

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Funny story: Bush Announces Medal of Freedom Recipients

Bush Announces Medal of Freedom Recipients

WASHINGTON D.C. - Today the White House released President Bush's selections for the 2007 Medal of Freedom. The Medal of Freedom is one of the two highest honors the government can bestow on a civilian. The other is the Congressional Gold Medal,...

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Funny story: Bush Calls Americans Cowards

Bush Calls Americans Cowards

CINCINNATI, OHIO--In a sharply worded speech given to the Cincinnati Chamber of Commerce today, President Bush lashed out at the majority of Americans who do not support him as "...cowards bordering on traitors."...

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