Shock Jock Howard Stern was the last interview 'Weinergate' star Anthony Weiner had after hitting all the daytime shows yesterday as he continued to deny HE had not posted his pole on Twitter, while continuing to fan the flames admitting "it could h...
For those of us who found a brace of semi-moist Playboy magazines inexplicably stashed in the woods near their home -- and spontaneously gummed up their Underoos with Tween-Jizz before they got home, looking at at Playboy magazine in its 57th year of...
In a sweeping plan to ban plastic bags which have left Brits Breathless, the European Union is taking the first step to shut down deviate sex practices which they say affect the Health & Safety of the British Public. Plastic bags , since inven...
Did Osama like to crack one off? The evidence suggests that the recently deceased terror chief was a master at pocket billiards. It is claimed that he had more porno films than a Home Secretary's husband. Bin Laden may well have sought refuge in mast...
A record number of new legal highs were reported across Europe by Ian Mackaskill, Europe's new drug monitor. Mackaskill was a surprise choice considering his inability to predict whether it was going to rain or not. However, he is said to take his...
Self-abuse, coffee, blowing your nose and straining to defecate could increase the risk of of a fatal stroke similar to Elvis Presley's, say researchers in Madrid. Eight risk factors were linked to bleeding on the brain. They all increase blood pr...
In a quick survey of British citizenry 65% admitted that they still fantasize about Henry Tudor while masturbating. Kate Middleton came in a distant second at 12% followed by the late George III, also known as "Mad" King George. The survey reporte...
The Porcelain Throne Company, announced a new commercial urinal for the bar/restaurant and hotel market last week, after winning a patent on the radical new design. Response to the new urinal named "The Kirby", has reportedly overwhelmed the factory...
A well-known wanker is to quit public masturbation, amid revelations tonight that the onanist was not fully-behind the knuckle-shuffling cause. Art Pud-Puller, president of the National Jerk Society, has been accused of courting press attention fo...
Despite the success of the Black Swan at the box office, it has been exclusively revealed that millions of men have been left frustrated by what masturbating film critics are calling "a complete and utter cock tease." Millions of men, expecting to...
Chancellor George Osborne has agreed a deal with the wank bank that will force them to start lending again. The wank bank had refused to lend back sexual and arousing images that men had stored leading to very tense situations. The news will be...
Graffitti artist Rich Simmons has created a royal mural with Prince William as the Sex Pistols bass player and Kate Middleton as Nancy Spungen. Over the picture is the intriguing title FUTURE ****KING. Unfortunately Nancy ended her day's being sta...
SACRAMENTO, Calif.-In a move that shocked and angered most people, the current governor of the state of California, generally called the "Republic of California" according it's flag, has ordered the criminalization of masturbation. In a very close...
A 14-year old boy sick and tired of tax evasion from Bollywood starlets, America's reluctance to adopt the metric-system, and Indonesia's crackdown on porn has decided to go on a masturbation strike. Vikram N Malhotra Jr. has vowed to stop playing wi...
The government caused outraged today when it announced that wanking and masturbation in general will be outlawed after midnight today. Government spokesman Marsta Bates, said the move was introduced to improve the eyesight of the population and ta...
Tiny boys, teenagers and other males (most of them actually) masturbating are not the cause of males going bald. Scientists have been researching into the age-old problem of males going bald and now they have achieved an astonishing result in proving...
A man who would only give police his last name as "Blick" has been arrested in the toy department of Wally World in Sarasota, Florida. "We caught him wiping his goop off onto two more dolls when we got back to that part of the store. No one in the...
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