In what has been described as "an historic breakthrough", a new scientific study has revealed that the Irish people are the descendants of an ancient race of exploring Polar Bears, who were the first species to cultivate the potato. The study - wh...
DUBLIN - Two weeks ago George Clooney dumped his girlfriend of two years Elisabetta Canalis. And just recently he was spotted in Dublin's Sons of Killarney Diner engaged in an intimate, playful, embrace with Sandra Bullock which included tongue w...
Following weeks of speculation from literally tens of people, Irish mechanic Sheamus Obama reports that he has finally fixed US presidential protection party vehicle "The Beastie Boy" after taking it to pieces with a toothpick and barrel of Guinness.
The suitcase which allows the US President to activate nuclear weapons has been found in an Irish Pub. "We found the suitcase and threw it into the cloakroom to see if anyone would come and collect it. It didn't cross our minds that it would actu...
Still reeling from the recent visits of Queen Elizabeth II as well as U.S. President Barack Obama, Irish folks are exhausted and desperately need a respite. The visits were lovely while they lasted but thankfully they are now over. Finito! Ev...
KEFLAVIK, Iceland - New reporters from all over the world are thrilled beyond words that the latest volcano to erupt out of Iceland at least has a name that most people will be able to pronounce. Grimsvotn has been hurling lava ash and tons of vol...
After U.S. President Obama met with Ireland's political leadership, he made it a point to branch out into the countryside and meet business and social leaders in and around the town of Moneygall, where one of his Irish ancestors came from. Firs...
A total news black out has been imposed on football after an unprecedented upsurge of scandals involving XXXXXXX out of wedlock, and charges of XXXXX whilst otherwise engaged in marriage, according to XXXXX, a now discredited reporter. "It's worse...
Shergar, County Louse - A 500-gallon drum of the strong stuff has seen the Queen vow to inseminate flagging House of Windsor genomes. The Irish national equine center gift will hopefully inject some much-needed spunk into the current mutant bloodl...
The Queen expressed deep sympathy for the Irish people in her state banquet speech at Dublin Castle last night. The monarch was full of emotion as she spoke of her sorrow : I deeply sympathise with the Irish people in having to wear green everything - green ties, green jackets, even green underpants - it really is one of the most tiresome shades for one to have as one's national colour. A...
Dublin - Old HM Saggy-Boobs - as her hosts called her at Dublin Castle tonight - is in need of a major uplift. And hydraulically-engineered hoists should be built into her droopy 40GG-cup bra 'to stop the boobs dangling below elbow height'. "To...
Dublin - Whorsewhisperers close to the Ballybollox Stud from which hapless dual Derby winner Shergar was sprung plan to release a video of the Buckingham Palace feast. This shows the Queen enjoying the stallion's 'Tipperary tendergroins' - raw tes...
As you travel around Dublin City centre in the coming days you may notice that all is not what you though it was. One may notice that there is little or no suitable parking. Regular drivers will be aware of how unusual this is as normally one can park ones car any where with reckless abandonment in Dublin. The following parking arrangements have being put in place over the next few days the pol...
Residents of the pretty Irish village of Ardfinnian in County Tipperary reacted in shock and disbelief when their town hall disappeared. Crowds gathered around the site of the building, which had been closed down for several years following a move...
An Irish council has established a committee to monitor the naming of housing developments. Members of Wexford County Council and interested parties from the community have produced a booklet of advice, and the committee meets weekly to discuss pr...
Irish golfing sensation Rory McIlroy is hovering on the brink of winning the US Masters open golf championship, in Augusta, Georgia, baffling the world on the grounds that the British are usually totally crap when it comes to genteel, refined sports.
Dear Sir, I should like the opportunity to raise the plight of the Irish jockey-man. We all know about the current financial difficulties endured by the Irish Republic, but how many are cognisant of its effects upon jockey-men? We might read an online Ballybunnion Advertiser, or we might peruse, in a particularly well-stocked newsagent or railway station "mini-library", an afternoon edition...
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