The Vatican - A secret enclave of Catholic bishops and cardinals has added marijuana smoking to the church's menu of Holy Sacraments. The unprecedented action is expected to boost the popularity of Catholicism while replenishing the church's coffers,...
In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...
A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...
VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See. The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old...
The Vatican is responding to today's much-anticipated report from the U.N. Committee on the Rights of the Child. Church officials testified before the committee a month ago. Today's U.N. report bluntly criticized the Catholic hierarchy for polici...
There are many couples in the U.S. who have decided not to have children due to the certainty that the offspring would get a horrible disease, passed to it through one of the parents. But due to scientific breakthroughs, disease causing genes my...
THE VATICAN - Though Pope Francis' turn at the papal office is still in its infancy, he has already become widely regarded as the most progressive in the Vatican's long history. But while doubters criticize many of his recent viewpoints as being "un-...
In a recent Times, there is a front-page story entitled, "Murder Or Mercy?" It is, in part, a story of an ailing World War II veteran who commits suicide. Before his death the 88-year-old man told his son, because of his terminal illness, that...
Dateline: VATICAN-Experts agree that Pope Francis has made a concerted effort to change people's impression of the Catholic Church, by adopting a less ostentatious style of public relations, leading non-Christians and Christians alike to be aston...
VATICAN CITY - And so, to sum things up. "Wait! No…..huh?" Oh yeah. In other words, more or less, recklessly composed for just such an occasion, here's an otherwise additional supply from Pope Francis, as unleashed recently via his first offi...
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis unleashed his how you like me now mission statement for his (so far anyway) perpetually perplexing papacy Tuesday. During which he attempted to explain - via a variety of highly suspicious words otherwise recklessly distr…
The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
BOSTON - Three nuns from St. Lobster's Church in Boston have stated that they are fed up with non-Catholic individuals saying that nuns are basically lazy. Sister Marie Bingo told National Focus Magazine reporter Durango Tucker that when she was i...
The team behind the phenomenal "Price is Right" have launched a new TV game show. Called "EL PORCO D'ORO" or "The Golden Pig", it is sweeping America. To advertize for ten seconds during the show will cost half a million dollars. CNN executives are delighted and Jerry Springer says he is "disappointed" he wasn't asked to compere. It is in fact being compered by Ozzie Ozbourne. How does it work...
There was a brief moment of what can only be described as pandemonium yesterday near the Lincoln Memorial at Washington's National Mall. A man claiming to be Jesus of Nazareth was seen to walk barefoot across the Reflecting PooL scene of many a p...
At a hastily convened press conference in Heaven today, a depressed supreme deity who goes by the aliases of God, Jehovah, Yahweh and Allah announced that he could no longer carry on and was taking early retirement. Speaking in tongues, including...
Rome - Catholic soccer fans are in shock today after Ex-Pope Benedict XVI said he is hanging up his cleats at the end of the season and would no longer compete in Vatican League soccer. Benedict XVI, the leading scorer the last seven seasons for...
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