BILLINGSGATE POST - It is rumored in Washington that President Obama is running scared. Stepping back from his earlier assertion that he ordered the assassination of Osama bin Laden, he told George Stephanopoulis that he would work with Al-Qaeda to...
Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech...
Amazingly, Osama Bin Laden has sent a VHS tape to Arab News Corp TV claiming that he is not dead and holding up a newspaper from May. "In this remarkable recording, he talks about how the Americans got it wrong," said Arab News Corp head of progra...
Despite recent setbacks, the terrorist group al-Qaeda remains firmly committed to using their undergarments to try and blow things up, a spokesman said today. "We've tried shoes, socks, and of course underwear," said Jabir Al Jabazz in a telepho...
Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't President Obama say that he had decimated Al Qaeda? Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't President Obama kill Al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda Yemen head Anwar al Awlaki? So what's with the news that the CIA just foiled an Al Qaeda bomb plot in Yemen to blow up a US airplane over One World Trade Center with a non metallic bomb inserted inside the colon of...
A suspected covert operative of al-Qaeda has been arrested before boarding a flight to London after authorities suspected that he was wearing a concealed underwear bomb; one that required no metal. The suspected operative, tentatively identified...
Scratchy video footage released on jihadist internet forums last night appears to show an Al Qaeda spokesman attempting to claim responsibility for the devastating invasion of foreign crayfish on British waters. The signal crayfish was thought to...
East Africa - The charcoal grilled lamb-peddling terror outfit's commander has tested DNA positive as Lord Lucan's son, spawned during the fugitive peer's UK taxpayer-funded grand tour of Africa according to reports. Vladimir Dim-Eatery Lucan Shis...
The European Court of Human Rights has ruled that Abu Qatada the suspected 'right hand man' of Osama bin Laden should not be deported in spite of the UK's attempts to see the back of him. In their ruling the Court went further than many expected s...
NEW YORK CITY - Mayor Bloomberg is pretty upset at a text message that he has just received from Vice-President Joe Biden. The vice-president has informed the mayor that the Federal Historical Department, which is headed by Biden, has just voted 4...
Central London was lit up like a fireworks display last night as Al-Qaeda members launched an audacious New Year's Day attack on the capital. The shadowy organisation appeared to take control of Big Ben and the Millennium Wheel, from which they fired...
"Action" is what the Hollywood A-Lister Charlie Sheen shouts to the 30 or so men on a boiling film set in Afghanistan, but far from directing a new film about the war in Afghanistan, Charlie Sheen has been giving acting lessons to Al-Qaeda. Havin...
In order to remake its image and distance itself from the whole aspect of terrorism, Al Qaeda has announced that they have changed their name to Really Cool Dudes with Beards, Turbans and Weapons or RCDBTW. "We want everyone to know that we are re...
LOS ANGELES - Fifty-three-year-old Alec Baldwin the star of television's 30 Rock says that he has never before been kicked off of an airplane flight. He spoke with Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo and told him that he had gotten kicked off of a No...
SANAA YEMEN - Anwar al-Aulaqi, born in the U.S. and one of the most influential al-Qaeda leaders, was first reported to have been killed yesterday by a CIA drone strike in northern Yemen. In Washington, senior Obama officials first confirmed, and...
al-Qaeda fanatics in Britain are being trained how to avoid detection. They are being trained to act 'gay'. A new terror training manual instructs Islamic extremists, if approached by women, to pretend they are gay. The very fact that some of th...
You have probably seen photos, television programs and cinema reels about the stuff that happened yesterday , but until you experience it for yourself you won't really understand what it's like. Nothing on earth matches the sensations you will experience, the thrill of breathing and moving under the direct threat of being blown to bits in a market. Here at Qaeda Tours we will guide you and give yo...
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