Murrieta, CA - Federal officials, members of the mainstream media, and the self-appointed PC Police are imploring citizens to stop using what they consider to be offensive language regarding the influx of immigrants from Central America into Texa...
New York - Former first lady Hillary Clinton has decided to take a break from her current book tour to listen to her latest muse - her own current book tour. "I looked in the mirror the other day, and I realized that my disastrous book tou...
Minneapolis - While it's not exactly a "Remember the Alamo!" battle cry, First Lady Michelle Obama is screeching that she will defend her signature school lunch program 'til the bitter end.' Ironically, this is how a majority of Americans view...
Lima, Peru - In what promises to be a future Disney love-story movie, murderer and all around bad guy Joran van der Sloot married a psychotic chick this week in prison, where he met and impregnated the brainless female. Van der Sloot, who gained n...
Jackson, MS - It now appears that Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran may have cheated and used the lowest of political tactics in his recent Republican primary to hang onto his political power at all costs. Fellow republicans now refer to Thadeus as...
Boston - Liberals are seething over the Supreme Court decision which allows Hobby Lobby to not have to offer certain birth control products which they believe induce abortions and which violate their religious beliefs. Hateful people took to t...
Hollywood - Nancy Pelosi has agreed to appear in the sequel to the 1985 movie, Brazil. The trippy movie based on George Orwell's book, 1984, is scheduled to be released in late 2015. Pelosi appeared in the original film to play Mrs. Ida Lowry...
San Francisco - The city council has approved spending tens of millions of dollars to construct a system of safety nets under the Golden Gate Bridge in an attempt to thwart future suicide attempts which have plagued the landmark for decades. T...
Laredo, TX - The federal government has opened a new no-kill shelter in this border town to help find homes for thousands of new illegal immigrants who continue flooding into the country. In the past, if an illegal alien sneaked across our border...
Atlanta - By now, it's become public knowledge that the Clintons have had a tough life these past twenty years. The struggle they have faced as multimillionaires is well documented and admirable. The ability to "pull oneself up by their bootst...
Rio Linda, CA - People have excuses for everything. For years, kids have notoriously used the well-known excuse, "My dog ate my homework", when wanting to excuse why they didn't do their homework. Now, thanks to the IRS scandal, "My hard drive cra...
Washington D.C. - This week has not been kind to Gollum and his "precious" agency, the Internal Revenge Service, as the creature has been on the hot seat having to answer for the mysterious disappearance of Lois Lerner's relevant emails. The g...
New York City - Publishing giant Simon & Schuster, desperate to find a way to turn a profit on Hillary Clinton's new book "Hard Choices", has come out with other possible uses for the book. The company hopes to entice some who don't intend to rea...
Seattle - Hope Solo, the hot goalie and star of the Team USA Soccer team, is used to swatting things away. Everything from soccer balls to guys constantly hitting on her. But now it looks like the beauty might be taking her work home with her...
Washington, D.C. - The genealogical website of record has revealed that Lois Lerner, the embattled IRS employee at the center of a Tea Party targeting campaign who has been held in contempt of Congress, is related to a long line of magicians, illusio...
Middletown, NJ - Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, who gained notoriety on MTV's classy show Jersey Shore, was arrested for fighting with his own brother at a local tanning salon that the pair own together. Apparently, the double douchebags cam...
United Nations - The United Nations has formally asked the 'Avengers' to step in and quell the current wave of violence in Iraq that is being waged by the extremist terror group known as ISIS. As the terrorist savages closed in on Baghdad, the...
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