It appears the FAA and Santa Claus are at odds with each other. While filing his flight plan for Christmas eve the FAA had new rules, regulations and stipulations that have to be met before domestic travel. First, Santa must comply with a full bo...
The North American Man/Boy Love Association, a.k.a. "NAMBLA," believes the U.S. Transportation Security Agency should be "more aggressive" in its pat downs of male toddlers and newborns. A spokesman, Mr. Seymour Hindquarters, warned that, "You nev...
Dr. Billingsgate, the British born genius, known mostly for possessing 12 Doctorates from LaFontaine College in the Cayman Islands, using counterintuitive methods developed by him during the Cold War, completely baffled security agents who selected h...
Harry Clint, Publisher of Lustler Magazine, announced today he intends to publish full page, full color airport body scans. The recent implementation of x-ray machines that give detailed pictures of people under their clothes has caused much cont...
Washington, DC -- The Transportation Security Administration responding to complaints, over what many consider excessive pat-downs, gropes, fondles, pokes, twiddles, pawing, squeezing, grabbing, caressing, frisking, handling, prying, searching,...
The comedy of errors continued today as brain dead TSA workers, most who have been refused gainful employment due to learning disabilities or criminal history, managed to shut down SF International Airport over a Bogus Terror Bomb Alert! According...
United Security Systems in Fallon, Nevada, announced today that they are developing a new security system for airports that will make all present systems obsolete. Harry R. Kelton, Director of Development at the Fallon R&D Section stated that...
BROOKLYN - Underground syndicate boss Salvatore "The Pizza Man" Goombalini has made it very clear to the TSA that he is not going to be putting up with having his private parts caressed, groped, or even touched. Goombalini speaking on Good Morning...
Sean Connery was arrested as he attempted to go through customs at Heathrow yesterday. The 80 yr. old actor, recently named in a multi-million fraud case, involving 'property' was arrested by airport security. A fellow passenger had pointed him...
DENVER - Mel Gibson's ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva says that she has been severely traumatized due to the pat down which she received at Denver's John And Bob Denver International Airport. She remarked that the entire sordid incident has remin...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Transportation Security Administration spokesperson, Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle, 47, has informed the media that effective immediately any illegal aliens who have decided to return to Mexico will be provided with free first class tic...
Herman "Harry" Schwanglinger is a businessman who relies heavily on the friendly skies to get him quickly from one business meeting to another. Until recently, he was a frequent business flyer having racked up more than a million miles in the past tw...
Pakistan - An audio recording, attributed to Osama bin Laden, has called on al Qaeda suicide bombers to refuse to allow infidels to crotch grope them before boarding airlines headed for America. The recording which was dated to the current month i...
An expert has told ABC this morning that those stolen scanner images can easily be fleshed out by an expert and that's why the totally nude pics are showing up in magazines and some on the net. Of course, the magazines say that they are "imitation...
The TSA practice of using full-body scanners and physical pat downs to detect hidden items on travelers' persons is coming under increasing scrutiny. In an effort to find an alternative, the TSA has come up with a less intrusive way to get the job do...
A lady in line at New York's Kennedy Airport has stated that Lady Gaga was in front of her in line to go on a flight to London and that the Lady refused to take the scanning. "No way, Jose!" was what she apparently told the security people. Oth...
LOS ANGELES - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with Lions Face Films and the G-Spot Motion Picture Company has just announced that they will soon begin production on the Transportation Security Administration themed film The Pat Down Dudes of LA...
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