Trenton, New Jersey - Gov. Chris Christie, who turned down the chance to run for president of the United States earlier this week, has announced his candidacy for Ruler of Occupied Wall Street. "Being president is not for me. You have to be certif...
Wall Street has been closed for business whilst crowds go on a tour of sites in the area. The call for people to join the tour gained an unexpected response after Police provided a kettle for the tourists. 'It used to be when America catches a col...
The protests that aren't happening in New York's famous financial district are still not happening, according to people who haven't seen it, mainly due to the fact that it isn't going on at all, which is also the main reason for it not being covered...
New York - A special police task force swooped down on Wall Street this morning to arrest hundreds of investment and high-finance executives accused of defrauding and possibly destroying the world's economic system. But the cops were distracted by...
New York - How can you make some quick gains in a slow economy? The smart money on Wall Street is flowing out of gold and Into sand, according to a random survey of top investment analysts. "Sand is a steal compared to other commodities," said Rog...
New York, New York-Wall Street Financier Lawrence Welsh has been indicted by a federal grand jury on allegations of outsider trading after an investigation into his stock trades revealed that he wasn't very well liked by anybody. "He was your cla...
New York NY: The Stock Market crashed today as stocks and commodities went through the floor. The Stock Market, an upscale lunch bistro catering to financial district patrons, located at Wall and Broad Streets in lower Manhattan was a total wreck.
Cleansing themselves of continued efforts to buy their company, the Clorox board of directors chose to stage a dramatic answer to Carl Icahn's $18 Billion offer, by ceremoniously removing stained T-Shirts with Icahn's name on them, and tossing them i...
Wall Street, NYC - The UK satire streaming site Spoofify has raised enough Wall Street $$$s to value the company at $10 billion ahead of the eagerly awaited American launch. A series of key moves with popular comedy blogging sites Farcebook, Squit...
Rejecting Liberty Media's latest bid for the struggling book store chain, Barnes & Noble has announced the acceptance of a deal from The Gap that will merge current bookstore locations with clothing and accessories from Baby Gap specialty stores.
The Galactic Empire's newest superweapon will be named the Glacier Global Partners Death Star. In an unusual cross-marketing deal, the most destructive force in the Universe will team up with a tiny, obscure White Plains, NY-based financial firm wit...
Based on the continued likelihood of QE3, the following is a satire based on Matthew 18:23-23 Once upon a time, a certain king in a land of ease wished to settle accounts. Usurers who owed billions were brought to him. The Usurers had bribed the gullible into burdensome loans they knew the debtors could not repay. Floundering beneath the loans, the debtors scoured nickels and dimes to pay wha...
The front page of USA Today announced that '5 Wall Street Heavyweights say it's time to "Get Back Into Stocks!"' Yes folks, for those of you who are not unemployed or living out of a storage unit it is time to take your hard earned cash and put it back into the hands of those people who almost sunk the United States like it was the Titanic. The money section of the paper (and who knows money...
For those that hold shares in the United States' largest tax return preparation company, H&R Block, they've become used to watching their net-worth flushed away, day after day, down the Kansas City company's crapper. From a 52-week high of $23.2...
NEW YORK CITY - Recently, some have argued that Obama is completely, utterly incompetent and clueless, to include comments that infomercial pitch-men Billy Mays and "the Slap-Chop guy" would have been "a thousand times better." At the same time, fina...
A swarm of about 15,000 bees descended on Wall Street yesterday, startling New York natives and visitors alike. A New York Police Department officer, a bee expert, came to the rescue, "vacuumed" up the bees and packed them in a screened pen to be tr...
A conglomerate of Wall Street firms has announced today that they are purchasing the US Federal Prison System. The surprise announcement came as news surfaced that there were possible criminal investigations going on that would implicate many top Wal...
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