Man United's noisy neighbours crashed the party at the Theatre of Dreams today and took over the city for the first time in 43 years. Money talks and City proved to Utd that money plus quality = success, especially in footy and spanked United's bums...
Vincent Kompany, captain of Manchester City, has been awarded with the official title of football's largest head, say F.A chiefs. "We don't mean he's a boaster, or a cocky so-and-so," said Carl Bender, F.A spokesman, "we just mean he has the bigge...
Dorking pensioner, and rabid lady football fan, Eloise Bostik, 82,is so looking forward to Sunday's Manchester derby between United and City at Old Trafford, that she's cancelled Sunday dinner and ordered a bottle of sherry from Freshco's on line hom...
The latest buzz on the Manchester rumour hotline is that want away striker Carlos Tevez will line up in Manchester City's starting eleven in this weekend's head to head clash with Manchester United at Old Trafford. Insiders say that City have init...
The rhetoric bullshit in the build up to Sunday's Manchester derby is gradually gathering pace and now Man City have thrown a "red herring" at United in the form of a "secret weapon"! Jaggedone sent his CIA army (Cockroach Infiltration Army) over...
Before Man United set off on their long trip to play a virtually unknown team in the dark depths of Romania, their kit man was spotted at a local Tesco's buying bunches of garlic and then he rushed to the weapon shop to buy silver bullets (?). It...
The climax to Saturday's non-event was no more than the "Little Pea" peeing all the red half of Liverpool off by entering the arena. He then shot in a pea off of his head and proved to all of the world that he is a master-class "Pea-shooter". Up t...
Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day. The Fre...
Liverpool and Manchester United scrapped out a hard fought draw today at Anfield. Gerrard put the home team ahead with a fluffed free kick which somehow squirmed through a broken defensive wall. With ten minutes left on the clock, Javier 'Chicharito'...
FA Headquarters, Wembley, LONDON: Following the shock decision to 'ave our main striker Wayne 'Roonstone' Rooney, banned for three matches after his alleged lashing out at opposition forces, The FA have been deliberating whether to appeal against th...
If Liverpool lose to Man Utd Saturday their owners have promised that they will unite with their Scouse neighbours, Everton, and form a club called Liverton FC. They hope that this unification will produce a club capable of competing with their Ma...
Liverpool - Investigators probing suspected cricket match fixing have arrested a number of people including someone with the same name as the famous Manchester United striker. Wayne Rooney Senior was described as 'seventh of nine' in the group hel...
Man United's new Spanish goalie survived an incident at a local supermarket in the noble area of Upper Manchester where all rich footy stars do their shopping. He got his finger stuck in a very sticky doughnut. After panicking, because normally he...
After Carlos Tevez refused to play for City last night in the Champions league defeat against Bayern Munich, Sir Alex Ferguson popped over to City and bought him back. City were glad to get rid of the Enfant Terriblé and United certainly need a "...
Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has announced a surprise selection for his named striker in the Champion's League match against Basel at Old Trafford. After losing stars Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez to injury, Ferguson was said to be...
The Premier league game between Man Utd and Chelsea was absolutely flabbergasting as both teams put on an astonishing performance in how to miss 100% chances. TV fans and fans lucky enough to have witnessed this crazy game live saw both sets of p...
It may be early days yet, but it seems that Man United just do what they want, when they want, and there doesn't seem to be too much that anyone can do about it. Today's game against Chelsea was hyped up to high heaven as youth versus experience,...
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