DEATH STAR (Galactic Press) -- What he first identified as a "disturbance in the Force" turned out to be nothing but gas, a sheepish Darth Vader admitted yesterday afternoon.
INDIANAPOLIS (AP Newsliar) -- Indiana, the most technologically challenged state in the nation, will soon be converting from full-service to self-serve gasoline stations, if state legislators have their way.
PASADENA (AP Newsliar) -- Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) offered startling new evidence today that mankind's out-of-control CO2 production has already devastated the fragile ecology of Mars.
WASHINGTON D.C. (AP Newsliar) -- President Bush has invited British Prime Minister Tony Blair over to the White House for a sleepover this evening, a White House spokesperson disclosed today.
LONDON (AP Newsliar) -- Prince Charles says his farts smell royal.
FLAGSTAFF (AP Newsliar) -- The Moon was stolen last night by an evil space giant, officials at the Lowell Observatory confirmed today.
TATOOINE (Galactic Press) -- Residents of the remote Outer Rim desert world Tatooine were stunned today by news of a double homicide in the quiet moisture-farming community south of Anchorhead. Imperial police reported that Owen Lars, 57, and wife...
HOUSTON, TX (AP Newsliar) -- Lead engineers at Johnson Space Center are in stark disagreement over the best overall design configuration for NASA's planned Ares space launch vehicle.
BOSTON, MA (AP Newsliar) -- Scientists have found the gene responsible for causing people to be assholes, researchers at the Foundation for Advanced Genetics Studies announced today.
DAYTON, OH (AP Newsliar) -- Cyberbock Industries Inc. has developed a novel technology that will lead to the first practical time travel capability, company officials reported today.
NEWARK, OH (AP Newsliar) -- Archaeologists working in south central Ohio have found what may be the earliest audio recording ever discovered. The recording is etched into the surface of a large clay ceremonial burial pot, uncovered near the Newark e...
To: nancysmith From: doppelbock...
HOUSTON, TX (AP Newsliar) -- Johnson Space Center officials today confirmed that NASA intends to restructure the Fully Articulated Gyro-Assisted Space Suit (FAG-ASS) program, a project to develop the space program's next generation of space suits...
HIGH EARTH ORBIT (AP Newsliar) - Responding to the latest barb in the war of words between the Earth and its Moon, the Moon today fired back: "You're not the boss of me."...
DAYTON, OH, Apr. 27 -- The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has selected Cyberbock Industries to be one of three competing prime contractors for the development of a new generation of spacesuits, to be used in future manned explor...
In order to understand Doppelbock, you must first understand the history of his family -- the Bock family.
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