The Portuguese star's stunning 30-yard set-piece in Manchester United's triumphal win over Portsmouth struck a disabled man who then walked again for the first time in 20 years.
The balloons may have popped, the champagne may have gone flat and the Porsche may have lost its sheen but an in-depth analysis of the recent financial ups-and-downs to hit global money markets has shown that the mar...
Ann Clueless, the completely out-of-touch MP for Vicars Stiffer has spoken of her concern that the lack of homegrown footballers playing in the Africa Cup of Nations is damaging the Premiership and England's hopes of ever winning...
We Tories secretly employ members of our own families, Tory leader David Cameron revealed today, but we're too thick to know what nepotism means.
European and Asian stocks have risen after French bank Societe De Robespiere admitted that Frenchman Monsieur Le Grande Theft Auto, 19, had lost tens of billions of euros playing the French version of Deal Or No Deal.
A landmark exhibition of Russian-held art containing The Dance by Mattise, arguably the greatest painting ever, was at the centre of a growing international row today when a Swansea mum Charlene Church (47) claimed her two ye...
The British Airways pilot who saved the lives of 151 crew by bouncing his 150,000 ton Boeing 777 over Heathrow's perimeter fence, adjusted his cravat, finished his cup of tea and ejaculated, "Dashed bumpy landing there, what...
Kevin Keegan's appointment as Newcastle United's manager captured Geordie imaginations and took the entertainment world by storm. The once familiar refrain of "Nice to see you see you nice" rang out again at St James' Park as Ke...
Like many of us, Heather Trotter-Twobutts enjoyed a few eeny-weeny glasses of vin rouge over Christmas without giving a second thought to just how twee she'd become. Most of her colleagues and friends drank the s...
Wales is preparing itself for a new generation of nuclear power stations after Gordon Brown listened to critics who said new stations will be expensive, dirty, and dangerous, and decided to put them in Wales.
Hopes of a fairy tale outcome in the US presidential elections were boosted yesterday when Hillary Clinton, the nice-looking white female, soared to victory in the Hampshire election.
Emma Watson, the teenage Harry Potter sensation, is set to play the teenage Maddie McCann in a new musical that's going to sweep the box office this spring. The blockbuster, directed by Love Actually's Richard Curtis, will al...
Watching Fat Club will never be the same again after the world's biggest plasma television was unveiled yesterday. The whopping 150-inch Panasonic widescreen TV will enable viewers to watch everything in larger than life-size which is welcome rel...
X Factor star Rhydian Roberts should have won the Kenyan presidential election by miles it was revealed today. Roberts has called for a re-run of the vote because he lost. The vote was obviously rigged and everyone in the democratic...
Hospital wards across England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales have been closed in a bid to slow the spread of SAAP, the so-called 'sick-as-a-parrot' bug (Hoddlevirus Keegansiensis) after England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales all failed t...
Gordon Brown finished 2007 looking like a man who spent a decade trying to reach his own private parts to suck them, only to discover he had to suck someone else's, George Bush's.
When I heard yesterday of the death of boogie-woogie jazz pianist Oscar Peterson, it brought to mind the words attributed to Thomas More in Bolt's play "A Man for All Seasons", when he was threatened with that imposter death by the Duke of Norfolk. "Death comes for us all my Lords, yes even for kings he comes." And I thought: "Yo, even for the maharaja mutha of the key...
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